Monday, December 31, 2007

Hoosgot the answers to your questions.

David Sifry (http :// took a mere 48 hours to
create a Web2.0 app that truly demonstrates -- and puts into action --
the power of social networks.

His new tool is called 'hoosgot' ( and And it's a way for anyone to get stuff
they're looking for. And 'stuff' could be information or things.

The word 'hoosgot' is a phonetic spelling for the phrase, 'Who's got...?'

As in, 'Hoosgot a Kindle they don't really want, and can send it to
Roy in South Africa?'

Or, 'Hoosgot any idea how to upgrade a template to the new
widgets version without losing all your old formatting?'

Or maybe even, 'Hoosgot a way to get George Bush impeached before the
Third World War he's started spreads all over the world?'

If your blog pings, just using the word 'hoosgot' will
get the post parsed by Sifry's innovation, and open your question up
to a huge community of people who might be able to answer it.

In order to access your answers, you do one of two things:

1. Go to the site, and check the comments section of your
query for responses.

2. Follow the RSS feed for the comments in your blog aggregator (I
used to use the free Now I use the free Google Reader.)

One thing Sifry mentions is that this system will only work if you
work it (some twelve step resonances there, I suspect). He means that
it's a community tool, which works through reciprocation. In other
words, don't only post questions. Sometimes, post some answers too.
It's a give and take situation.

I'm posting this as an email to from gmail on my
cellphone. So I'm not sure how links are treated. Hopefully they'll be
live. If they're not, you'll need to copy them into your browser. And
I'll rectify that when I'm online from my computer.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Jennifer holding two... Uh... Cushions(?)

These... Uh... Uhm... Cushions are for sale in the shoplet at Ludwig's. They're R190 each. That's approximately €20. Or US$25. A bargain, yeah? If you want simulated vaginas on your bed.

Jennifer saw this and said, 'Yuch! Is THIS what stimulated vaginas look like!?'

And I said, 'Simulated, not stimulated.'

She said, 'Oh.'

- Camera phone upload powered by ShoZu

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The World’s Shortest Marketing Plan, Version 2.1







What does the product have to do?

What articulated wants or unarticulated needs does it fill?

What is the window of opportunity?

How will the product fill these wants and needs?

What is our best guess at who is going to buy our product?


Where in the virtual and physical world do we need to sell our product?

Why will the marketplaces and market spaces distribute our product?

How will our presence change during the lifecycle of our product?

How will we establish and maintain a presence in the important locations?

Who are the decision makers at the marketplaces and market spaces?


What are the social factors in the buying process of our product?

Why will people recommend our product to others?

When can we credibly go after opinion leaders and early adopters?

How do we ensure that comments, rankings, reviews, and counts portray us in a positive way?

Who are the relevant opinion leaders and persuaders? Which communities must we reach?


How do we enable customers to express their preferences and to personalize what we do?

Why would people take the time and energy to express their preferences?

How will customer preferences change over time?

How do we capture customer preferences? (Customer ratings, transaction history, search behavior, and configuration tools?)

Whose preferences do we care about?


How much do we sell our product for?

Why is this the right price point?

What is our pricing strategy through the lifecycle?

How do we set and reset the price in a world of “perfect information” and dynamic pricing?

Who will demand different price points? Which segments do we care about?

Version History

5/4/06—changed to Helvetica font, made title and headings boldfaced

Monday, December 24, 2007

I think Alfred doesn't love me anymore...

Date: Mon, 24 Dec 2007 22:03:09 +0030
Subject: Re: thanks
To: Alfred Koffi <>

Please, Alfred...

What's happening with our deal?

Dude... Be reasonable! It's Christmas! I could absolutely USE a couple
of million US dollars.

I just want to check... We are talking about United States dollars,
aren't we? Cos I'd be reluctant if we were talking about Zimbabwe
dollars. Apparently it costs about five million Zim dollars to buy a
bar of soap!

I'm really not saying I need soap. Seriously... Please don't get me
wrong. I HAVE soap! My brother gave me some soap-on-a-rope last
Christmas. And I've never used it. It looks so good.

I've often wondered why my brother would even give me ANY present
whatsoever for Christmas. Since we're half-Jewish, we tend not to
celebrate Christmas. We accept gifts, of course. It would be stupid
not to. But I've never given him a Christmas present in my life. So
why the hell would he give ME one? And why soap-on-a-rope? It doesn't
make sense.

Please send me details about how we can proceed to make money together.

Your continued silence is VERY disturbing to me. In fact, it makes me
think that someone might have killed you. Please give me some sort of
sign that you're alive, and that we can proceed, and that it's US
dollars, and that my percentage split is safe, and that I'm going to
be able to score some serious serious serious cash before the new year

Alfred... Are you for real?

Blue skies, love, Roy

Sunday, December 23, 2007

My eager response to Alfred's letter of 'thanks'

On 23/12/2007, Roy Blumenthal <> wrote:
Ah, Alfred! (I apologise if I'm being very forward. In my culture we
believe that a person's first name is very much a part of their soul.
And it's rude if we use surnames. But I do understand that maybe your
culture is different. I want you to know that I respect and admire the
French. You are French, are you not?)

You're too clever for me! You SAY you want to work with me, but you
neglect to mention my percentage split.

I want guarantees. I want to know that I can trust you.

I don't want to trust you 1%.

I don't want to trust you 10%.

No, Alfred. I want to trust you 100%.

So how can we work together when I don't even trust you 0%?

Prove your loyalty, big man. I eagerly await your message assuring me
of your honesty. And of your ability to circumvent the law for mutual

If it weren't for the fact that I'm a fairly religious half-Jew (I go
to shul for the first half of the Friday night Shabbos), and a
slightly religious half-Christian (not the bottom half, I assure
you!), I MIGHT be inclined to believe that your intentions might not
be godly.

So. I'll remind you. Where's my proof? I want at least 50% of the
US$23.6 million.

Alfred Koffi, phisherman, responds: 'thanks'

From: Alfred Koffi <>
Date: Sun, 23 Dec 2007 12:16:42 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: thanks

Thanks for your mail, i would want to work with you just go ahead and
send your details to me.


My response to Alfred's kind offer in his email, 'My Regards'

Hi Alfred...

I warn you, dude... I know what your racket is! You're going to try
and give me only 30% of US$12.5!

I'm telling you this now... Don't bother getting back to me if we're
only talking 30%!

I want your deep assurance that I'll be getting a MINIMUM of 45%.





I think it's best if I remind you about what happened to your friend,
'Harith Achmad'. That sardonic bastard promised me a mere 20% of US$11

I warned that son of a bitch that there would be consequences if he
didn't up my cut to 35%. I told him that my underworld associates
would 'deal with him' if he messed me around.

Sadly, that poor orphan got 'scared' into silence. Well, that's what I
tell my friends. In actual fact, Harith is now 'enjoying' the
'affection' of Madame Tricolor. And you know what THAT means.

So, my friend, let's get this off to a good start. I'm being
reasonable. Are YOU willing to be reasonable? Or must I call in some

I'm going to be ROLLING in bucks! Phishing letter... 'My Regards'

From: Alfred Koffi <>
Date: Sun, 23 Dec 2007 09:06:41 +0000
Subject: My Regards

From the desk of
Alfred Koffi
ICB Ghana.


It is my pleasure to seek for your assistance, and you should
consider it very important. This is an opportunity i would want us
utilize well. I am Mr Alfred Koffi, an officer in charge of Auditing
and Accounting section with International commercial bank LTD Ghana,
and also a Relationship Account Officer to Dr Salim Chidiac, a

He was a Seasoned Contractor with Ghana Cement Company in Ghana
Republic, who unfortunately died in the plane crash of Union Transport
Africans Flight Boeing 727 in Benin republic in December 25, 2003. You
will read more stories about the crash on visiting this website:

Before his death on the 25th December 2003, Dr Salim Chidiac, has
a fixed deposit account with the bank and no other person knows about
this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other
beneficiary and my investigation proved to me that his supposed next
of kin died along with him in the crash. Since then I have made
several inquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this
has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact
you. I contacted you to assist in repatriating the money left behind
by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by
the bank to the government. Consequently, Since I have been
unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 7 weeks now. I seek
your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased so that
the proceeds of this account valued at US$12.5 million can be paid to
you and then you and me can share the money in proportion 70% to me
and 30% to you.

I sincerely request your honest co-operation to enable us see this
transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a
legitimate arrangement that will protect you and me from any breach of
the law. while it will take only 14 working days the funds will be in
your nominated Bank account. you should forward the following
information to me for a quicker communication.

A. Your Full Name
B. Private telephone and fax number
C. Your Full location Address.

Yours Sincerely.
Alfred Koffi.

My response to my good friend Harith's email proposal... 'Urgent Message To You?'

From: Roy Blumenthal <>
Date: Sun, 23 Dec 2007 08:58:04 +0030
Subject: Re: Urgent Message To You?

35% or nothing. And don't try and rip me off, you orphan scum. If you
try and rip me off, I'll have you dealt with by the criminal
underworld. Understand me? Now give me my fucking money and let's get
this show on the road.

I'm gonna be rich! Phishing message... Urgent Message To You?

I just received this very promising message from my long lost pal,
Harith Ahmad. He wants me to trust him. And there's a vague chance he
wants you to trust him too.

Here's his proposal to me. What do you think I should do???

From: Harith Ahmad <>
Date: Sat, 22 Dec 2007 11:06:04 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Urgent Message To You?

Dear Friend

Please make a hotel reservation for me and tell me the nearest airport
to you and await for my arrival.This is a transaction of $11m (eleven
million USD) from a genuine source and duly certified.It is my
inheritance with full legal right.

I trust that with you I will be able to invest on the right business
to maximize profit and grow my money.I am not resident in your
country,pls be my partner,receive me well and 20% of the total fund
is for you.Trust me.

Harith Ahmad
479 Valley Road,
Valley Park # 12-04

Friday, December 14, 2007

Bambi stars in her very own Matinee Soup 2008 Calendar, now on selling at Zazzle!

I've just put the finishing touches on a gorgeous product of mine at Zazzle. Yup... it's a calendar for 2008 featuring my doggie-heroine, Bambi.

Click on the image below, and you can zap off to Zazzle and order a neat present for the New Year.

The calendar is an all-ages one. There's a cartoon for every month, along with a selected quote shedding light on the humour.

Everything I make on Zazzle is customizable by you. So if you want to add someone's name to the calendar, please go ahead. Or you don't like my background colours... change them to something that works for you.

(There are loads of other things of mine on my Zazzle gallery. So if the Matinee Soup 2008 Calendar floats your boat, maybe something else will too!)

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Jake White -- a timing genius through and through -- 'Win or lose, it's how he played the game!'

RugbyWorldCup_018, originally uploaded by Dplanet::.

In response to Paul's response to Henre Rossouw's musings on Jake White's marketing genius in the timing of his book release panning the South African rugby administration.

I too think Jake White was a genius in his approach to the timing.

I'd go further, and suggest that his timing was planned WAY in advance.

It takes a good year to merely WRITE a book, let alone see it to print. This book has necessarily been in the works for -- probably -- the past three or four years. I think he's a clever enough man to have been able to foresee the endgame years ago.

I'd guess that Mr White may have fanned certain flames, knowing that there'd be consequences. He's no fool. If he says 'X', and he KNOWS that one of his opponents in the rugby world will say 'Y', and he KNOWS that the exchange will be controversial, then hell... why not say 'X' for strategic reasons?

The guy's a manipulator. That's his job. It's what he does best. He's also a strategic genius. That's how the Boks won the world cup. I don't think the bloke set a foot wrong in his entire campaign to get the Boks there. Including the so-called missteps he took in fielding 'poor' teams. The subtle art of misdirection at work, no?

And I think there's a further element to his strategy and timing. He's not JUST looking for personal gain. He's making sure that he sets the bar for the next coach. He's really done an almost mystical job of setting very high stakes, and demonstrating to the world (and South Africa, for what it's worth) the consequences of his successor fumbling the ball.

He's checkmated SA rugby good and solid. If they put an idiot in his place, or continue with their own idiocy, there's a smiling Jake White holding a trophy on a book cover for them to be humiliated by in the privacy of their own consciences. Sheer genius.

The photo is used under a Creative Commons 'Attribution' license. Thanks to Dplanet for the pic.