Roy Blumenthal is 'The Coffee-Shop Schmuck'

Making Caricatures of Schoolkids at a Primary School Fun Day

2011-09-30T20:53:00.001+02:00

Thanks very much to Gus Silber for taking the time and effort to make an animated gif of me making a caricature.That's me on the left, wielding my stylus. With my subject having a great time looking back and seeing what the rest of the class is laughing about.

Gus's son Max organised for me to be there. Kids paid a token fee to have their caricatures done. Luckily, the school has a smart board installed in this particular classroom, so we were able to project my stuff as it was happening.

Women's Leadership Journal -- Roy's "Shower Creativity-Capture" Featured

2011-08-04T13:58:00.001+02:00

Women's Leadership Journal -- Roy's "Shower Creativity-Capture" Featured, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

A while back, I tweeted about one of the ways I make sure my creative ideas don't end up bubbling down the drain.

The technique involves sticking white, self-adhesive, shelf-wrap onto the shower wall, and suction-cupping a pencil to the apparatus.

When inspiration strikes under the water stream, I simply pop the pencil into action, and write the idea on the wall.

Pencil works brilliantly on plastic, and it's excellent in both wet and dry conditions. What's more, shelf-wrap allows you to erase old stuff easily using a normal rubber eraser.

The tweet tickled the imagination of Debby Edelstein (@DebbyEdelstein), editor of THE WOMEN'S LEADERSHIP JOURNAL.

She asked me to take a photo of my shower setup, and asked if she could feature my idea in her journal.

I couldn't resist the idea of my shower appearing naked in a women's journal. So of course, I said yes.

Find the July 2011 edition online at http://www.qualitylife.co.za/newsletters/newsletter_july.html.

A much appreciated apology received from Ryan Barwell, BMW Sandton Auto. Process back on track.

2011-08-01T14:59:00.004+02:00

It's 2.44pm. I just got off the phone. Ryan Barwell phoned me to apologise for his behaviour at BMW Sandton Auto this morning. He sounded a LOT friendlier. Matched my first impression of him when I saw him in his office.

Basically, it's as simple as his having had a sleepless weekend due to a newborn baby. And to his being genuinely curious as to why Jennifer would bring the car back time and again if it wasn't getting fixed.

I took his question as a disingenuous attempt to evade responsibility, and it escalated.

I understand these things.

It was really big of Ryan to call and apologise. And he also asked me to tell him why I wanted to see him this morning in the first place. So he's looking into the history of the vehicle. He's checking into why his service rep didn't call Jennifer when he promised he would. He's looking into why and how the water problem which has recurred over and over again hasn't yet been solved. And he's offered us parts at cost and some goodwill discount on the job.

Thanks very much to Johan Conradie and Guy Kilfoil at BMW Head Office for dealing with this matter. And thanks to Ryan Barwell for his apology, and for making it right. Thanks also to everyone on Twitter and Google+ and Facebook for your support and astonishment at how this situation came about.

We're all human. And sometimes we have shit days.

Best thing about my phone conversation with Ryan is that he called me 'sir' a few times, and I called him 'bru' a few times, and we both laughed a bit. It feels WAY better being friendly.

Does Ryan Barwell, Dealer Principal, BMW Sandton Auto, ride a bike with the number plate THUG GP?

2011-08-01T14:04:00.001+02:00

Thanks to a commenter on my previous post about the terrible 'service' I received from Ryan Barwell, the Dealer Principal at BMW Sandton Auto.

The comment referred to a picture on Ryan Barwell's Facebook profile.

The profile picture is of a motorcycle with the vanity plate, 'THUG GP'.

Unfortunately, there are no other details visible on the profile, so I have no idea if this belongs to the same person. Anyone know?

Johan Conradie, Manager of Customer Care, BMW South Africa, gets hold of me

2011-08-01T12:08:00.001+02:00

This morning, after the rude, unprofessional, and unacceptable encounter with Ryan Barwell, Dealer Principal of BMW Sandton Auto, I called their Customer Care line twice.

The first time was from Ryan's office. But Johan wasn't in the office at that point.

The second call was just after 8am while I was sitting in my car in the parking lot at the dealership. I spoke to someone at Johan's office -- Princess -- who told me that Johan was on a conference call, and that she would pass the message on.

In the interim, I blogged about Ryan's awful 'service', and tweeted about it.

There seems to be a serious amount of buzz around this particular topic, with loads of retweets, and vigorous response from people.

One of the people who responded included @GuyKilfoil in the tweet. He's the Director of Communications for BMW South Africa. And he got back to me super-fast. He'd already followed my Twitter account (@RoyBlumenthal) before I was even aware that he was in the loop.

He tweeted me from a conference, saying that someone would get back to me pronto. That was at about 11:10am. Sure enough, Johan Conradie phoned at around 11:25am.

What's curious about the call is that I assumed he was responding to the message I'd left with Princess. And I asked him if that was the case. He said, 'No, I didn't get the message. Guy Kilfoil asked me to call you.'

Which means that my message didn't rise above the surface. It took social media to get a response. The good old fashioned 'leave a message' didn't crack it.

Is Ryan Barwell, Dealer Principal at BMW Sandton Auto, the WORST people-person EVER? Or is this just a REALLY bad Monday?

2011-08-01T09:22:00.010+02:00

[UPDATE3: Ryan Barwell calls to apologise. Apology accepted. Process back on track.]

[UPDATE2: Does Ryan Barwell ride 'THUG GP'?]

[UPDATE1: Got a response from Johan Conradie, Manager of Customer Care, BMW South Africa. Here's my post on what transpired: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com/2011/08/johan-conradie-manager-of-customer-care.html. Short answer, no resolution yet.]

[EDIT: This conversation happened just before 8am this morning: 2011/08/01.] I arrive at BMW Sandton Auto to speak to the Dealer Principal about Jennifer's car. It's in for a re-repair of a re-repair. They've 'fixed' her water leak twice already. And still it leaks. Only, this time, they've given her a quote for R22 000. And they're arguing that what's wrong with it now WASN'T part of the original problem.

I'm here to discuss the problem with the person in charge. My intention is to find out what portion of the repair quote is legitimately attributable to Jennifer, and what portion is a result of their actions.

So I go to the reception desk, and they direct me to Ryan Barwell's office. Good looking youngish guy in a suit. Pleasant smile. Short hair. Very well built.

'Hi Ryan,' I say, and we shake hands. 'I'm Roy Blumenthal. I need to have a conversation with you about my girlfriend's car.'

'How can I help you, Sir?' he asks. He's standing behind his desk.

'Ryan... We're both very unhappy with the situation right now. She's more unhappy than me, which is why I'm here to chat to you.' He nods for me to go on. I say, 'We've brought the car in several times now for the same problem--'

Ryan folds his arms, cuts me off. Says, 'Can I just interrupt you? I just want to know, if you're so unhappy with the service, why are you here?'

I say, 'You're BMW. And her car's a Beemer.'

'Ya,' he says, 'But why are you HERE, Sir? Why did you bring it back here, Sir, if you're so unhappy?'

I'm flummoxed. And I see where this is going. I say, 'Ryan, I think we need to back up a bit. I'm not liking how this conversation's going.'

He says, 'Well, I'm just wondering, if you're so concerned, why did you keep bringing it back to us?'

I say, 'I can see what you're doing, Ryan. You're making out that we're idiots for bringing the car to you. So we're somehow to blame. Dude... We aren't kippies. Do you see the word "Kippie" written here on my head, bru?'

He says, 'I'm not your "bru", Sir.' He's savouring the word "sir", using it as a swearword.

'What, you don't like the word "bru"?'

'I'm not your "bru",' he says. 'We don't have that kind of relationship, SIR.'

'My name's Roy. Don't call me "sir".'

'I'll call you whatever I like, SIR.'

'Bru... This is going nowhere. Please tell me who I need to speak to at BMW South Africa to resolve this.'

'Your girlfriend can speak to the call centre. SHE's the "customer",' he says, turning away from me, as if the conversation's over.

'Write down the person's name, please,' I say.

'What must I write it on, SIR?'

'Maybe a piece of paper, bru. How about your business card?'

He picks up his card, throws it on the table in front of me. 'Write it yourself,' he says, and starts rattling off a number.

'You can write it, please,' I say.

He picks up a pen. Considers what to write. Then writes down Johan Conradie's name, and a Pretoria phone number.

I say, 'Please phone Johan Conradie.'

He says, 'You're welcome to phone him yourself.' No "sir".

'You can use your phone,' I say.

He says, 'You're welcome to use your own cellphone.'

I pull it out and dial.

Get through to a switchboard.

I ask the lady on the phone what position Johan Conradie holds. She says, 'He's the Manager of Customer Care.'
He's not in the office yet, so I'll speak to him later.

I walk out of Ryan Barwell's office.

--------
Sent from my iPad.

Tutorial: Importing an ePub ebook into your iPhone or iPad using an Online Link

2011-05-27T11:04:00.000+02:00

Boxing Clever -- a WinWin Group conference for Unilever

2011-02-18T17:47:00.001+02:00

Boxing Clever -- a WinWin Group conference for Unilever, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Thanks to the genius of David and Steve at the WinWin Group, Unilever had what must rank as one of the most exciting and DIFFERENT conferences ever!

My role on the production was to provide visual facilitation for Gary McGaghey.

This pic was taken by one of the crew members. He was stationed up near the ceiling to capture video and stills of the event.

What you're seeing is roughly half of the room. The entire space is a massive square, just on 22 x 22 x 22 x 22 metres. It's about 2.5 to 3 stories tall. The screens are all joined, with uninterrupted pictures on all four surfaces. It's built from scratch in one of the Durban International Conference Centre spaces.

Dean Foure of Integrity, the company that provides the projection system, tells me that it took the rigging crew almost four full days AND nights to get the structure set up. And it's HUNDREDS of tons of wood and scaffolding.

Dean says it takes almost twelve hours to get all eight projectors EXACTLY balanced, colour-matched, aligned. And those eight projectors cost R10 million. (Each one is about the size of half a Fiat Uno.)

I've worked on big screens before. But never anything on this scale. And, as it happens, this is the first time anything this big has ever been seen in South Africa.

Gary's talk had a boxing theme. So that's me in the foreground in boxing garb. And all of my pictures were boxing-related.

I pre-drew almost everything, with two layers... a before layer, and a final-state layer. I then used my eraser tool to 'live-erase' the before layer stuff out of the way to reveal what lies beneath.

At the same time, I was moving the canvas into a new position every few seconds to stay in sync with Gary's talk.

Audience loved it. Client loved it. WinWin loved it. I loved it. That's a lot of love.

Mapping a Network Drive Attached to Your Belkin N+ Wireless Router's USB Slot

2010-11-06T00:48:00.001+02:00

1. Plug the external harddrive into your computer first.

2. Give the drive a SIMPLE name... no special characters, no spaces, and 10 characters or less.

3. Click on properties and SHARE the drive.

4. Make sure you have installed the cursed and mysterious BELKIN STORAGE MANAGER. (I found it at http://belkin-storage-manager.software.informer.com/. If that link doesn't work, Google it.

5. I'm a little hazy about this damned BELKIN STORAGE MANAGER. All I know is that somehow I got it working. But there's almost no evidence of it being alive, except for an icon in the toolbar. If you don't see the icon, then it's not working, and you will NOT be able to connect your drive. So... uh... get it working. And make sure it's set to run when Windows starts. (Sorry if you're not running Windows. I know nothing about sorting this out for Mac or Linux. And I really wish I knew how to get my Android phone to see it too. Oh well.)

6. With BELKIN STORAGE MANAGER running on your computer, plug the external harddrive into your router's USB port.

7. NOTE: It WILL NOT WORK if you plug it into a USB extender. In other words, if you plug one of those USB hubs into your router's USB port, and then try and plug the drive into that hub, it won't work. No matter WHAT you try. (And if you DO somehow get that working, PLEASE let me know how.)

8. Now go to MY COMPUTER, and click on MAP NETWORK DRIVE.

9. Assign it a letter. I used one in the middle of the alphabet, and I made it easy to remember.

10. Where it says 'FOLDER', type in \\192.168.2.1\diskname

11. Please note that those are backslashes (\), not forward slashes (/). The numerical part of the address is pretty much a default setting. If your setting is different to that, you'll probably know it. If you DON'T know it, then you've got problems, I think.

12. The easiest way to see if you've got that address right is to open up a web browser and type in 192.168.2.1

13. If the address is right, your Belkin setup page will appear in your browser. That's a good sign. If it doesn't, then you've either got the wrong address, or you're not connected to the router for some reason.

14. The 'diskname' part of the address you type into the FOLDER field is the name you gave the drive when you had it plugged into your computer.

15. The default in Windows Vista is for 'Reconnect At Logon' to be ticked. I'm happy with that. Means the drive will be accessible whenever you switch your machine on.

16. Click 'Finish' (not 'Browse'), and you should see the drive listed as one of the destinations in your 'Computer' folder in file explorer.

Please let me know if I've left out any steps. I THINK I've gotten it all in. But there might be some esoteric settings I forgot regarding the firewall or other stuff.

Re: Let's choose our future

2010-09-16T06:46:00.001+02:00

What a load of rubbish.

Do you seriously think your readers don't know what direct response
copywriting looks like?

Maybe there IS a real person called
Nthabiseng Tshabalala. And maybe she's twelve. But she sure as hell
didn't write this copy.

Get honest FAST. Or run the risk of alienating the people you're
trying to reach. You've already lost me with this example of poor,
unethical, unsound marketing.

On Wednesday, September 15, 2010, 1GOAL wrote:

Dear Roy,

Hello from South Africa! My name is Nthabiseng Tshabalala and I'm 12 years old, and go to Winnie Ngwekazi Primary School in Soweto, South Africa. It has been a huge honor to work on this issue with all of you. Education has changed my life, and I want every child around the world to have the same chance.

During the World Cup, I had the incredible chance to work with Shakira and 1GOAL. Together, we delivered Education Yellow cards from 1GOAL supporters to world leaders who were meeting here in South Africa.

I thought that meeting was big. But next week, all the leaders in the world are meeting at the United Nations to discuss how to deal with issues like education. So this week I’m travelling with the 1GOAL Campaign to New York City! At the summit, I will talk to world leaders, tell them my story, and ask them to make sure every child has a chance to get an education.

I also know they will listen much more closely if they are hearing from many people at once. So now I am asking you to join me. Imagine you could tell all the world leaders what you wanted them to do about education by 2015. What would you say? What kind of future do you want in 2015?

www.join1goal.org/r/chooseourfuture

I know I'm very young to be speaking to Presidents and Prime Ministers but they are deciding the future. And it is children, like me, who will live in that future. So I think it is important for us to tell them what kind of future we want to live in.

New York City is farther away from home than I've ever been. I’ve always wanted to go to America, so I am very excited and but I’m also very nervous. But I know I should go. I know that these leaders are choosing which future I will grow up with.

It could be a future where every child gets to go to school. That way, if you're good at maths, you can become an engineer. Or if you are good at science, you can become a scientist. We wouldn't need to worry about going hungry, because everyone would have good jobs that they are good at doing. (I would like to be a writer. Can you tell?)

Or it could be a future where most kids still can't go to school. So even really smart people can't find a job, because they never learned anything. In many places like where I grew up, there would be no engineers to build new buildings and no scientists to help cure diseases. And people will go hungry because they cannot find work.

I am hoping that I can encourage the leaders in New York to choose the better future for me and children around the world.

And I am hoping you will write to me about the world you want in 2015. I want to add all of your voices to mine at the United Nations next week. Please write your answer to me right away:

www.join1goal.org/r/chooseourfuture

I believe that this way, we don't have to just wait to see what the future brings. We can choose our own future.

Thank you for being part of 1GOAL. And thank you for fighting for me and all the other children and adults in the world who are denied an education.

Sincerely,
Nthabiseng Tshabalala

101 Uses For Your Vuvuzela -- Mel Gibson

2010-07-17T14:17:00.001+02:00

101 Uses For Your Vuvuzela -- Mel Gibson, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

David Germond of The Win Win Group emailed me a challenge... To come up with alternative uses for your vuvuzela now that the World Cup is over.

His email was simple. It said: 'This is what Zapiro did...'

So here's my stab at it.

I took a good hour to do a Google search for a suitable Mel Gibson picture. I was hunting for one where he spews vitriol, something to match the sound of his voice on the leaked recordings of his verbal abuse of his wife.

It seems his public relations handlers are on full red alert doing urgent fire-fighting. There are only a very few unsavoury pics of the man. And those are tame.

Anyway. I found this one. It suits my purpose. It's from ContactMusic.

I originally intended making a caricature of him. But when I was dummying up the composition, I liked the juxtaposition of the photo with the drawing. So that's what I stuck with.

This picture was made entirely in ArtRage 3 (with the exception of the photo of Mel Gibson, which is used without permission). No vuvuzelas were abused in the making of this muzzle. Mind the drool.

By the way, you have 13 days left to take advantage of my half-price offer. Book and pay for my services as a visual facilitator before Friday 30 July, and you get me for a massive 50% saving. Email Jennifer for details: bookings@royblumenthal.com

Blumenthal's 'Back From Berlin Bash' -- Visual Facilitation at half-price for two weeks

2010-07-14T14:23:00.001+02:00

Blumenthal's 'Back From Berlin Bash' -- Visual Facilitation at half-price for two weeks, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Just returned from Berlin. A top multinational pharmaceutical company made use of my services as a visual facilitator.

To give YOU the chance to experience what Europe's corporate top brass experienced, I'm BASHING my prices for just two weeks.

If you book and pay for a visual facilitation session with me in the next two weeks, you'll get me FOR HALF PRICE.

We're accepting bookings at half price until Friday 30 July. This offer is valid for events up to 31 December 2010. All you have to do is book and pay before 30 July, and you get a MASSIVE DISCOUNT. HALF OFF!

So while I'm cooling off from the 40 degree temperatures of Berlin, you can heat up your boardroom by having me make live pictures of your event.

Book me NOW by emailing Jennifer on bookings@royblumenthal.com. Act now. The half-price window closes on Friday 30 July.

This picture was created live during a 'best practice sharing' convention held in Berlin.

Soccer: 'The Beautiful Game' or 'Beautiful Maim'?

2010-06-17T09:39:00.000+02:00

Soccer is a game of sneaky attempts to maim and wound. These attempts are hidden from view by misdirection, smarmy smiles, superlative acting.

And the cherry on top? The victim of the abuse is complicit in covering it up.

Let's unpack this by comparing soccer to rugby.

In soccer, you're NOT ALLOWED to hurt your opponent. Point blank. And there are reams of rules governing how you can engage your opponent.

In rugby, you're REQUIRED to hurt your opponent. And the laws governing play are in place to prevent you from MAIMING your opponent.

Because soccer rules prevent physical contact with opponents, a lot of time and energy and brainpower is put into players learning how to hurt their opponents without being seen.

In rugby, the violence is in the open. In soccer, it's hidden.

In rugby, the violence is an acknowledged part of the game. In soccer, it's a big, dirty, secret, one that every player is party to, every ref is party to, every supporter is party to, every broadcast camera is party to.

In rugby, when violence is perpetrated, our response is, 'Whoooof! That hurt!' In soccer, when we see an illegal tackle, a crushing of foot bones, a deliberate break attempt at the knee, we go, 'Hahahaha! What a sneaky tackle! Heheehe! Ref didn't see it! Good for you, mate! Clever play!'

Soccer continues to allow this kind of abuse. And we celebrate it. In my view, this creates a climate of tolerance of hidden abuse. How many men secretly think it's okay for them to punch their wives, girlfriends, children, as long as noone finds out? As long as the abuse remains hidden? As long as the marks are confined to out-of-sight places?

I add my voice to those denouncing the Malawian government for the trial and sentencing of a gay couple.

2010-05-20T20:40:00.001+02:00

Dear Ms Agrina Mussa...

I add my voice to those protesting the human rights abuses being perpetrated by the Malawi government against the young gay couple currently sentenced to 14 years in prison for their lifestyle choices.

Here is a link to some of the material I've read about this travesty: http://bit.ly/9nMFGZ.

I appeal to you to convey to your president my extreme displeasure at the actions of his government. And I request a reversal of the court's verdict and sentence.

Let people live their lives to the fullest, according to their own convictions.

Yours sincerely
Roy Blumenthal

PS: Please understand that this letter is appearing on my Posterous blog -- http://royblumenthal.posterous.com, as well as my Blogspot blog -- http://schmucknews.blogspot.com. I encourage readers of my blogs to voice their own disgust to you and your government by emailing you at highcommalai@telkomsa.net. (Note to protestors... The email address here is correctly spelled. There is no 'w' in the 'malai' portion of the address.)

------------------------------------------------
ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director
Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)
Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Site: http://royblumenthal.com
Illustrations: http://flickr.com/royblumenthal
Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa: http://www.psasouthernafrica.co.za/members/resume.asp?ID=264
------------------------------------------------
I use an Asus R1E tablet pc, sponsored by Rectron South Africa

Al Malnik

2010-04-20T08:03:00.001+02:00

Al Malnik, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Bizarre. Al Malnik, at one time, buddy to Michael Jackson, godfather of Blanket, Jackson's youngest child, and one-time executor of his will is now calling for cartoonists and caricaturists to make a flattering portrait of him.

At least, I THINK that's what he's doing.

I got an email from the folk at Toonpool asking for a pic of Malnik.

This is the request:

"We urgently are looking for very positive (!!!) portraits of Al Malnik (Alvin Ira Malnik), a very rich man."

Malnik is a controversial figure. Sounds kinda loser-ish to me.

Let's hope he likes my pic. I really tried to keep it flattering. Okay. Let's be honest... I didn't REALLLLLLLY try too hard to flatter. Okay... I'll admit it. I didn't try at all.

Mister Malnik... please don't ask your underworld associates to pay me a visit. Thanks.

This painting was made in ArtRage on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc in the small hours of the night. No Michael Jackson was played (nor played with) in the making of this picture.

Eugene Terre'Blanche, Backstage With The Village People

2010-04-13T19:18:00.001+02:00

Eugene Terre'Blanche, Backstage With The Village People, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

I was going to illustrate this. But when I looked for my reference pictures online, I simply HAD to do a montage.

King -- A Quick Moleskine Doodle While on the Phone 23/03/2010

2010-03-28T21:10:00.001+02:00

King -- A Quick Moleskine Doodle While on the Phone 23/03/2010, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

So there I was, watching BATTLE ROYALE this afternoon in my home theatre, when a client called confirming a meeting. I wrote all the details down. And as the conversation continued, I drew this blobby little royal nebbish.

Jeff Eitzman -- Uber Dentist

2010-03-10T09:25:00.001+02:00

Jeff Eitzman -- Uber Dentist -- Colour (1 of 4), originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Thanks to @MarkStraw for recommending Jeff Eitzman to me.

Jeff's a brilliant dentist. He takes a lot of time to get to understand his patients' mouths. And then he takes the right, considered, skillfully executed action.

In November, a relatively new filling applied by 'Dentist X' in Fourways fell out. I sought opinions from friends. One bud recommended 'Dentist Y' near Cresta/Northcliff. The filling lasted exactly three days. Another bud -- the aforementioned Twitter-bud, @JackStraw -- gave me Jeff's number.

A good sign is that Jeff was booked up till February. But his mom, who runs the reception at the practice, popped me onto a cancellation list.

When I finally got a booking in mid-December, Jeff spent two hours with me, investigating WHY this problem filling kept falling out. He devised a treatment plan. Lined my cavity with a hardening substance, put a temp filling over that, and told me to come back in two months once the hardening agent had cured.

When I got back to his chair in mid-February, just before my bithday, he got to work on the real business of giving me a lasting filling. He completely reconstructed my tooth, using about four separate layers of material, including strategically-placed metal screws that he embedded in some of the substrate.

This filling is incapable of falling out. Furthermore, he constructed it in such a way that it does NOT trap food in the crevice. Previous dentists who botched this tooth also botched the crevice.

The tooth is still sensitive. But every day it's settling down more. The reason it's sensitive is cos the cavity was so deep that the drilling went very close to the nerve. Jeff's treatment philosophy begins with 'First do no harm', followed by, 'If we can save the nerve, we'll do that', followed by, 'The natural tooth material is the best material for your mouth'.

The dude is a sculptor. I recommend him fiercely.

These four pics started out as black and white drawings in my PaperBlanks Moleskine-substitute notebook. I drew them while Jeff was working in my mouth. The colour-work came later, in PhotoShop CS3.

Graeme Sacks snaps Roy in Killarney -- after Roy appeared on eNEWS CHANNEL live

2010-03-02T13:47:00.000+02:00

Graeme Sacks (@AfricanABC) popped into Mugg & Bean in Killarney. He took this pic of me demonstrating ArtRage to an interested-party.

I've been uploading pics I made live on-air this morning at eNEWS CHANNEL. They had a special to celebrate 100 Days To The World Cup, and I was invited to do on-the-spot visual facilitation of the event.

These are the pics I made:

Pagan Pentagram Perimeter Protection

2010-01-01T11:37:00.001+02:00

Pagan Pentagram Perimeter Protection, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Mounted this to our wall on the morning of 31 December 2009. It's a handmade pentagram using branches from several different plants.

It's designed as part of our set of tools to keep us safe in this new year.

It's filled with white light stretching out to wherever our loved ones are.

Here's wishing you a safe and love-filled 2010.

Pate de foie Manto

2009-12-16T20:27:00.001+02:00

Pate de foie Manto, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Liver as a main course. With a whole bunch of stuff to make a collapsed liver even worse. And some stuff to kill a nation.

A fifth of all South Africans have HIV or AIDS right now. And that's just the cases that are known about.

Manto Tshabalala-Msimang and her AIDS denialism are responsible for South Africa having such a big problem.

Now she's dead. Can our country recover?

Made in ArtRage 3 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.

If you'd like to use this pic for any reason whatsoever, go for it. It's released under a Creative Commons 'Attribution, Share-Alike' license.

Manto Tshabalala-Msimang Dead Dead Dead

2009-12-16T18:28:00.001+02:00

Manto Tshabalala-Msimang Dead Dead Dead, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

She's dead and gone now.

Maybe it means South Africa has a chance to recover from the mistakes she made botching our ability to solve the AIDS crisis this country is sinking under.

Verbose? Hey. Not as verbose as Manto. The alcoholic, thieving, incompetent buffoon.

One liver transplant wasn't good enough for her. She had to continue drinking. Just had to do it.

And the first liver transplant was a stolen liver. She jumped the queue.

And the second liver that was scheduled to be given to her? Stolen too. Another jumped queue.

Am I sad that she's gone? Nah.

Am I worried that people will think ill of me for saying bad things about the dead? Nah.

Am I happy that the country might be able to get back on track? I truly don't know. I think there's a lot of evil going on in this place. Our politicians are as corrupt as it's possible to be. I think we're screwed, actually. But hey.

This pic was made in ArtRage 3 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.

If you want to use this pic for any reason whatsoever, please go ahead. It's released under a Creative Commons 'Share-Alike, Attribution' license.

South African Santa

2009-12-14T20:35:00.001+02:00

South African Santa, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

A while back I had a speaking engagement for a bunch of MENSA types.

One of them... John Hofmeyr... called me a week or so after, and asked me if I'd illustrate a poem of his for a charity publication.

I agreed to do that. And this is the resulting image.

If you have a need for a unique Santa pic, please feel free to use it. It's released under a Creative Commons 'Attribution, Share-Alike' license.

I made this pic in ArtRage 2.5 and PhotoShop CS3 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.

How to Get a Tattoo

2009-12-07T10:21:00.001+02:00

There are three keys to getting a tattoo:

1. Being certain you want one.

2. Choosing the right image.

3. Choosing the right tattoo artist.

Let's start at the beginning.

1. Being certain you want a tattoo

When I was eleven, I got a tattoo. It was appalling. It was a stylised
drawing of a Chinese Fu Manchu sort of dude wearing a hat. Terrible
artwork. And the 16-year-old dude who did the needlework was really
just incompetent.

When I was in Grade 9, I used a scalpel to try and cut the tattoo out.
I hated it so much. When I was in first year varsity, I tried again to
remove it. What was left was an inky stain with scarring that looked
like a mutant birthmark.

So why did I choose to get a PROPER tattoo late in my thirties?

Well... I'm older. More mature. Have a much better artistic sense. And
an appreciation of individuality.

I've yearned over the years to get something to cover up the mutant
both-job. But I've always had the fear that I'd want to scalpel the
thing out again. I wanted to be certain that if I DID cover the old
tatt, it would HAVE TO be something I could live with and be proud of.

I came up with a deeply ironic and hilarious design. It took the form
of a clothes-label badge that said: 'LEFT ARM: Property of Roy
Blumenthal'. (I'm Roy Blumenthal, just so you're clear.)

A company I do freelance work for is filled with dudes who have
tattoos. They're called MISSING LINK. And they make presentations that
aren't boring.

I showed them my design, and they went crazy. One of them said, 'If
you get that tatt, we'll hire you more often!'

I was going to get the tatt anyway. But that pushed me over the edge.

I scouted a few tatt artists. But all of them looked at the scarring
of the old one from my youth and said, 'Nope. The ink won't hold in
that.'

So I redesigned the tatt for my right arm. And went to one of the most
reputable tatt parlours in Joburg: KEVIN'S KUSTOM TATTOOS, and had the
three artists laughing their heads off.

A few years later, the MISSING LINK dudes brought a tatt artist to
Joburg from Cape Town. And I got my second tattoo. It totally covers
my old mutilated scar, and is in the form of a phoenix rising from the
flames. (The image is a double-image: in the negative space you can
see a bold question mark.)

Do you really want a tattoo? Really realllllly? Sure it's not just
about some perceived 'cool'? Are you willing to live with a permanent
addition to your body? Are you willing to accept that your body image
WILL change one way or another?

2. Choosing the right image.

Once you KNOW a tattoo is right for you, you need to find the right
image. Something you won't get tired of. Something that is you now,
and years and years and years from now.

Dig deep into your essence to find out what your anchor is in the world.

Be sure that you're looking INTERNALLY, not externally. You might
THINK that Jesus or Black Sabbath or The Jonas Brothers DEFINE you
now. But that's deeeeeeply unlikely to pervade after three decades.
Simply put... Our beliefs change. No matter how we cling to them NOW.

In my case, my two tatts represent aspects of my true self. I'm
someone who delights in the ambiguity that irony creates. So my 'Right
Arm' tatt will always be funny. Even if one day it has to be
amputated. Cos the doctors will get a laugh.

The phoenix/question mark tatt represents two major aspects of my
being. I question everything. I'm a life-long learner. The fact that
the question mark is hidden at first in the image shows the value of
probing. I am also a perpetual reinventor of myself. The phoenix is a
bird that transforms when needed. It overcomes hardship. It revels in
the flames.

What defines you? Internally? What are your most solid values? These
are the things I suggest you look to when choosing an image.

Where to find a pic? Well... The internet is the best starting point.
Start collecting pics that resonate with you in a folder somewhere. A
great starting point is Flickr. Or Google Images. Also, go to tattoo
shops. Look at the flash on their walls. But remember that flash is
NOT unique to you.

Print all of your reference pics to take with you in your search.
Something will emerge.

3. Choosing the right tattoo artist.

In my case, I've had three tattoo artists working on my skin.

The first was not an artist. He was a juvenile delinquent. And I
almost became a juvenile delinquent cos of his work on my arm. I was
deeply ashamed of the mark, and never wore short sleeves until I'd
hacked the ink out with a knife.

The second was a competent inker. But she wasn't an artist. My 'Right
Arm' tatt is okay. But nothing glorious.

The third artist is the one I'll go back to for my next tatt. He's an
actual artist. And he helped interpret my finished artwork into a
mighty tatt.

His name is Marcus van der Tuin from Metal Machine in Cape Town.

My advice to you? Find a tatt artist who is passionate about tattoos
and art. Ask to see tatts he or she has done. Ask to see the original
artworks they used as reference. All of the good tatt artists are
proud of what they do. They take photos. They care. And they're not
offended by people asking questions.

This ink will be on and in your body for the rest of your life. EVEN
OF YOU LASER IT OUT. Choose wisely.

I hope this helps you.

Enjoy your journey. Don't rush. And be certain.

Re: Twitter to Pieter Uys about 3G problem

2009-11-25T07:58:00.000+02:00

Hi Louisa...

Thanks very much for your call yesterday. I'm pleased that someone in Pieter's office took this matter seriously enough to put a human face on it.

I'm afraid your call came too late for me. This issue should have been dealt with on the day it happened, or the next day. Instead, it took from Friday to Tuesday for me to get absolutely no joy, and no resolution. Your call was the ONLY communication I've had where resolution was possible.

There's something drastically wrong with your problem-escalation systems and procedures if your company will allow a client to get this heated about something so simple to fix.

The matter is simple:

1. I put a limit in place to protect myself from nasty surprises like a R4k bill out of nowhere.

2. I also trusted your systems to deliver the promised SMSses telling me when my bundle was depleted. You are in the business of delivering information. You've been doing it for more than a decade. GET IT RIGHT.

3. I trusted your people to have the common decency of communicating with me when something went wrong. They did not. They simply froze my account, OVER THE WEEKEND, with absolutely NO WAY for me to get my account unfrozen. Shocking. Disgusting. Pathetic. How would YOU like to have YOUR internet arbitrarily cut off, with a R4k bill thrown in for good measure, and a labyrinthine call centre system that refuses to escalate issues?

4. I made more than 14 telephone calls to get this issue sorted. I spent more than R200 waiting on hold and being told by idiot-like people that they would NOT escalate my call. I wasted more than five hours of MY time trying to sort out YOUR problem. All the while being blamed for it, and being told that I had to pay for your mistake. Yuk. Shame on your guys.

---

I've now gotten my MTN connection sorted out. And I'm back in the land of the connected.

Please cancel any and all remaining Vodacom accounts forthwith. As we discussed on the phone last night, I will not be giving you a month's notice. I want it cancelled right now. This month-end bill must be the last debit order from you guys, please.

---

I apologise for the strident tone and manner of this email. I recognise that you've been thrust into the tail-end of a nasty situation, and that you're really doing your best to help me. But I've really had enough. And I simply want to be clear that I will have nothing further to do with Vodacom.

ACTION REQUEST:

1. Please let me know that my account is being deactivated with immediate effect, and that I won't be paying any more bills other than this final one.

2. Please let me know what you intend to do with the disputed amount.

3. Please let me know what's going to be done to prevent this from happening with other clients in the future.

Thanks, Louisa.

Roy

On Tue, Nov 24, 2009 at 2:56 PM, Louisa Van Beek <Louisa.VanBeek@vodacom.co.za> wrote:

Roy,

You have send Pieter a twitter about your 3G problem. Can you please give me more info i.e. what the problem is, where do you experience this problem, contact detail that I can give the technicians to make an appointment to come and see you.

I have also left you a voice message, you are welcome to call me at your convenience.

Regards

Louisa van Beek

CEO's Office

Vodacom Group Limited

082 Vodacom Bouldevard, Vodavalley, Midrand, 1685

Private Bag x9904, Sandton, 2146

"This e-mail is sent on the Terms and Conditions that can be accessed by Clicking on this link http://www.vodacom.co.za/legal/email.jsp "

--
------------------------------------------------
ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director

Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)

Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Site: http://royblumenthal.com
Illustrations: http://flickr.com/royblumenthal

Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile
------------------------------------------------
I use an Asus R1E tablet pc, sponsored by Rectron South Africa

Vodacom 3G Losing Another Customer: Complaint Currently Being Dealt With on GetClosure!

2009-11-24T11:42:00.001+02:00

This is the text of my complaint currently lodged with
http://www.getclosure.co.za:

<em>My Extremely Truncated Complaint Against Vodacom</em>

1. My 3G card was locked on Friday 20 Nov without my being informed.

2. When I spoke to a consultant on Friday evening, he told me that my
bill had spiked to just under R4k, and that accounts had frozen it.

3. Approx two years ago, I had Vodacom put a voluntary limit on my
acc, so that it could not spike by more than R500.

4. Consultant informed me that no such limit was in place. He
speculated that an error may have occurred when I upgraded from the
1gig bundle to the 2gig bundle.

5. I've since spoken to, and screamed and shouted at, approx 14
staffers, who refuse to escalate this to decision-making level.

6. My 3G remains blocked. And I refuse to pay for Vodacom's error.

<em>My Proposed Solution</em>

1. I want my 3G card immediately unlocked and operational.

2. I will happily pay my bill up to my R500 limit.

3. I will happily purchase a top-up bundle to see me through this month.

4. Vodacom must absorb the balance of the cost of the spike, and fix
their internal systems to prevent this from happening.

5. I want an apology from the person who cut my account off without
notifying me.

6. I want a written apology from Pieter Uys, Vodacom CEO, explaining
why his staff refuse to escalate issues, and what he will be
instituting to make complaints easier to escalate.

7. I will most likely terminate all dealings with Vodacom as a result
of this debacle.

ARIA -- a short film directed by Guto Bussab, written by Roy Blumenthal

2009-11-11T22:24:00.001+02:00

Guto Bussab directed this film, opting to shoot on real 16mm film. I co-produced with him and Rudi Pieterse. And I wrote the script.

We shot the film over two-and-a-half days, using three locations in Joburg. Norman Coombes was an absolute trooper. At this point in his life, he had almost no sight left. He was as good as blind. And he was old. One of the shoot days had us doing an intense and late afternoon/night shoot in an antique shop. At the end of the shoot, Stafford, our Director of Photography, called, 'Check the gate.' This is a ritual in film. The gate is the bit in front of the lens where the film rushes through. If it's clear, it means all's well. If there's a little piece of film stuck in it, it means trouble.

As it happened, the gate wasn't clear. We had filmed for an entire 6-hour period, with NO film rushing past the lens. We had to reshoot the scene in ten minutes, after calling Norman and Frantz back from their car.

This film was the last one Norman Coombes made before he died. He was into his late 80s when we shot it, and he was long dead by the time our unbearably complex edit was over.

This film was a lesson in 'What CAN go wrong WILL'.

The chief catastrophe, from which we almost couldn't recover, was that a good third of our shot footage was processed by the film lab at the wrong ASA rating. And so it ended up not just vaguely unusable but completely unusable. Viewing rushes is a dangerous and scary thing. When you view the rushes and you cannot see anything but darkness and golf-ball-sized clods of misshapen light, that fear becomes bile-like.

Which meant that the film had to be pieced together by Damon Berry and Digby Young. They literally took my script, worked out what we intended with the movie, and then created an entirely new story out of the footage available to them.

They fought another monumental battle in that long edit. As it happens, Guto's 16mm camera had a problem that nobody knew about. The crystal in the camera which keeps audio and picture synchronised was broken. So the film wandered between 23 and 26 frames per second. Which meant that there was NO lip synch. None whatsoever.

So when Digby and Damon delivered us a film, it took me and Philip Haupt about a week in the audio studio getting a salvageable lip synch out of the cut.

Only two things went really well. One was the music by Dan Selsick. He composed the aria specifically for the film. And the other was the post-production funding I secured from the NFVF, South Africa's National Film and Video Foundation.

@docpop's 'Pictureless Comic Contest': Hindsight -- 2009-11-04 -- Joost and Amor

2009-11-04T12:27:00.001+02:00

@docpop's 'Pictureless Comic Contest': Hindsight -- 2009-11-04 -- Joost and Amor, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

@Scottstead, a Twitter buddy of mine, and fellow visual thinker, alerted me to an interesting challenge...

@DocPop threw the gauntlet down, asking artists, illustrators, cartoonists, humans, to create a 4 to 40 panel comic strip with NO PICTURES.

Of course, the only medium in which this can be successfully carried out would be radio. Cos all other media use visuals. And visuals are pictures. Even a written or typed word is a picture.

But what the heck? Maybe he just meant, 'Traditional pictures'?

My answer to the challenge deals with the scandalous numbskullery of an ex-Springbok Rugby Playing Hero, Joost vd Westhuizen.

Some time ago, the tabloids broke a story in which Joost was seen in a home video snorting cocaine off an extra-marital ladyfriend's stomach. He was also giving her some of his special Springbok Rugby Love. (You know the type I mean... tonsil massage in the locker room.) All while wearing underpants riddled with holes.

He denied that it was him in the tape. His spiritual leader, Pastor Ray McCauley, of the money-making Rhema Church, apparently denied it was Joost. (I've just searched the web for the articles I recall coming out at the time, and I'm struggling to find anything about McCauley's role that isn't hearsay.)

Nevertheless... Everybody denied it was Joost.

And his wife Amor stood by his side.

But now he's gone and let the cat out of the bag. It WAS him. He admits it in his new book. And at the same time, he trash-talks Amor in the most ungentlemanly ways possible. (In fact, I hope his Springbok Rugby Pals round on him in a dark alley and give him some scrummaging lessons as payment for the ugly stuff he's revealed about his former love.)

The hidden layers in this cartoon make it a bit convoluted for anyone who isn't fully up to speed with the twists and turns of the saga. But it's clear enough what's happening in the surface story regardless.

I thought a bit of history would be in order.

I made this pic in ArtRage 2.5 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc. I wore a pair of my own hole-ridden underpants on my head for inspiration.

This pic is released under a Creative Commons 'Attribution, Share-Alike' license. This means you are free to use it as you see fit, without asking for my permission. AS LONG AS... you attribute it to me, and you release it under a similar license. I would also appreciate a note letting me know you're using it. My email address is roy@royblumenthal.com.

Too many examples.... Two more tales of woe for Virgin Mobile South Africa to be worried about. An open letter to Steve Bailey, CEO.

2009-08-05T19:34:00.000+02:00

Hiya Steve....

This email is going to you, to Louis Stanford, Lynn McMaster, my Coffee-Shop Schmuck blog, and my Posterous blog.

There are now 23 comments on one of my blog posts about Virgin Mobile (http://royblumenthal.com/wordpress/2008/09/13/virgin-mobile-south-africa-incompetence-exemplified/). Some of those comments are mine. But many of them are from people who've had poor experiences with Virgin Mobile. Experiences which are not being sorted out or solved timeously, courteously, or with integrity.

As you know, I've been forwarding most of the comments to you. And you've sorted many of them out.

But I think it's time for this poor service to stop. It cannot keep going on like this.

The rumours about Virgin Mobile's pending demise continue to circulate on Twitter. No-one from Virgin comments on these rumours. Your PR agency seems not to even know about them. Nor do they seem to monitor the blogosphere.

At the same time, the South African internet-literate public seem to be very active in searching for examples of Virgin's poor service. And they seem to be finding my blog. And leaving comments on it. This is not good for Virgin Mobile. It's not good for the entire Virgin brand.

I really thought you guys would have taken some steps to fix things after the small debacle that led to my first post.

But you haven't fixed things.

Are things at Virgin Mobile truly unfixable? Is it impossible for some person on the end of a telephone or email to actually take responsibility for the satisfaction of the customer at the other end?

You should not be in business if you are unable to address these issues. And you should not be in business if people have to resort to force to get their issues handled. When people leave a comment on my blog, they are resorting to force. And that should leave Virgin Mobile deeply ashamed and embarrassed. More than that, Virgin Mobile should be leaping into action to make things right. Even if you ARE going to be shutting your doors at some point.

Please read the comment I've quoted below. It's from Louis Stanford:

Louis Stanford April 7, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Hah!

I'm having similar issues, I cancelled my account in October (no phone included in the contract) and money is still being deducted off my account, even more bizarrely, they've handed me over to TransUnion debt collections for an amount of R4784 (which I do not owe).

I have now phone the call center 8 times, and 8 times I've been told that the mythical billing department would investigate and get back to me.

No luck so far.

Tomorrow, I change tactic.

Louis

Now here's one from Lynn McMaster, responding to Louis's comment with a situation of her own:

Lynn McMaster August 5, 2009 at 4:35 pm

Hi Louis,

I have an identical problem. I have been struggling with VM since June 2008, and eventually returned, in total frustration, the useless handset in December 2009. I have written and phoned VM so many times, I have lost count. They do not come back. No success from Steve Bailey whom I also mailed a while back, using the address you gave. I tried Virgin Mobile, UK. They are not interested. I have tried to contact Sir Richard. No luck. I was contacted by one Ivana Japhtha from VM SA, who undertook to sort the matter out and cancel the contract, remove any "debt" incurred by VM even when the phone was back with them. They just quote their Force Majuer clause in thecontract (No 18). read it. VM can do what they like, even if they do not offer any service. Roll on the Consumer Rights Bill.

Then I get demands from Trans Union. I go back to Ms Japhtha, who says not to worry. I tell Trans Union I have declared a dispute. Eventually Japhtha calls me on April 19 2009 to all resolved. Contract cancelled and "debt" wiped out. But guess what; she lied. I kept getting accounts from VM and threats from Trans Union who have japtha's number. I keep reversing the amounts taken from my account by VM. Japhtha promises to sort it out. Nothing happens. I go away for a month in June and come back to find a company NAEDO NuDebt has removed money from my account by debit. I don't know who they are; they have stolen the money. I call them. They say they were authorised by Cell C to remove the money. Who is Cell C? Guess what, Virgin. I have never signed any permission for Nu Debt to take money from my accounts. Trans Union say they know nothing about the illegal removal of money from my account and that my account with them was closed. I think, Hooray, Japhta sorted it. But no, she never contacted them. because the account was in dispute, and nothing was happening, it was closed and "migrated" elsewhere. I try to get out of Japhtha what is going on. She doesn't come back to me. So I go to my Bank, Standard to find out how they can allow the removal of money from my account by an unauthorised company. They tekll me there is so much fraud, they cannot control it!!!!!!They try to contact VM. No reponse. So, today (5/08), I go to Standard Bank by appointment to close the account from which money is being stolen. We try to open a new account. No Luck, I have been listed. No-one has told me of this. I do not know who has listed me, and since Japhtha has written to me re cancellation of my debt, I assumed she was writing the truth. Stupid me. I should know VM is completely incompetent and completely unethical. I establish that Japhta has never contacted Trans Union as she claimed. I am still receiving accounts each month from VM. I write to Japhta and query why...........no response. I phone Japhtha, and she promises to phone me before 5.30 pm on a day. She does not. Standard Bank phones her today (5 August 2009). She tells them she is sick in bed. She acknowleges I have been listed, as this happens "automatically" What does she mean? She promises to fax through stuff to Standard Bank tomorrow. Will it happen, I don't know. Meantime, Standard is trying to get permission within their own company to open a new cheque account. They don't like it because of the listing. They promise to phone me back this afternoon. I have left three nessages with them this afternoon. No return calls, and no information on the status of my "new" cheque account as faithfully promised by Standard. Is it possible they are in league with VM?

Can someone recommend what I can do to sort this. Is there an attorney whom I can use to hit VM big time for fraud? And I mean big time. ICASA was contacted by me, and they did nothing. Advice is desparately needed.

Thanks

Steve... are you still the CEO of Virgin Mobile? If not, please can you tell me who is? And can you forward this message to that person? If you ARE still the CEO, then please take action to make these issues stop. And please let me know what you're doing about it so that I can blog about it.

Also, please contact Louis and Lynn on the email addresses in the header field of this email. They deserve your speedy and decisive response.

Thanks Steve.

Blue skies

Regards

Roy

Internetix Mark Gevisser #internetix

2009-07-24T15:12:00.001+02:00

Internetix Mark Gevisser #internetix, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Mark Gevisser's keynote speech at Internetix 2009 in Cape Town, in tandem with a chat I had with him at breakfast, leads me to a significant reframing of the Zuma PRESIDENCY. I've been a pessimist about South Africa's hopes under Zuma. Given the bloke's shady past.

But the presidency is not the man. The man may be flawed. But his presidency has much more at stake than he has.

These are the key points I took away from Mark's insights:

o Zuma's 'dishonest' past almost forces an honest presidency. He has to be seen to be spick and span.

o He comes from a security background. He's a spook. He has several cellphones on him at all times. Each hooked up to a different 'cell' of his intelligence network. Subsequently, he has a very attuned ear. Knows what's happening.

o He's taking aggressive action against corruption. He's being SEEN to be walking the talk. Gevisser reckons he's potshotting at soft targets for the moment. Easing off on loyalists. But that'll probably change.

o The ANC 'formation myth' crystalises around the inviolability of the South African constitution. Messing with the constitution messes with the formation myth. And messing with the formation myth leads to party instability. Gevisser reckons that the formation myth is our biggest insurance policy against constitution meddling.

Roy Blumenthal -- Edmonton Stories #yeg #iclei

2009-07-10T18:49:00.001+02:00

Roy Blumenthal -- Edmonton Stories #yeg #iclei, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

This story appears on the EdmontonStories.ca site. Please click through so you can see the video of me making a complete picture from start to finish.

The story comes from an interview conducted by Elize Smit, a once-upon-a-time South African, now a fully-fledged Edmontonian.

She condensed it down from my verbose ramblings over an hour or two.

She also operated the video camera to capture the footage of me making a pic of one of the ICLEI delegates from start to finish. You'll need to click through to see the video.

Chris thought my visual facilitation might be a fit for the city of Edmonton. He's the IT branch manager and chief information officer of the city of Edmonton. So the deal was if I could make my way from South Africa to Canada, they'd put me up and have me do visual facilitation here in Edmonton.

Of course I wanted to know how Chris knew about me. First time I got to that was in the car from the airport. He told me, "Well, you did a SlideShare presentation on the web about a session hosted by the Disney Institute, and a friend of mine sent me that SlideShare. I ended up printing out every slide and surreptitiously, every now and again, putting up a copy of one of the pages, just to jolt the office around a little bit and generate some interest." As soon as he saw the SlideShare he started thinking about how he could use my skills. He couldn't bring me out just for a City of Edmonton event – he has to be responsible with spending taxpayer money and all – so he waited for an opportunity where there could be a synergy. ICLEI came up. He started negotiating with them, and I’m here!

One of the things happening in the City's IT department is that they're moving towards each individual designing their future. So it’s not about reacting to stuff anymore. It's about taking charge and saying, "This is what I want out of my daily life. These are my interests. This is what I want to do." And the IT Department's making it real. It's not lip service. It's real stuff. To demonstrate that, Chris got me into a Q & A session where the audience got to ask the department directors questions. There were 300 people, all of them working in the department. And Chris and his directors were being really open and honest about who they are, what their plans are, what’s going on in the department, and what the forward planning is. Open and transparent.

I said to Chris, before the session started, that I'm sure this is probably going to be quite a confidential session so if he'd like, I wouldn't put any of the pictures up on Flickr. And he said, "No, we're about transparency and openness. Whatever you create in this session, you can put on Flickr. And we're going to share it with all the staff. We want to be held accountable for what goes on in our department." So the entire session’s on Flickr. People were blown away, because everyone was being totally open and honest, and because it was so interactive. I was drawing on screen, the directors were doing their thing, the audience was asking questions. It was great.

The video below was shot during the ICLEI World Congress 2009 at the Shaw Conference Centre. Watch Roy draw one of the ICLEI delegates visiting Edmonton.

Story Created: Jul. 10, 2009
Written by Edmontonstories.ca staff

RIP: A Remix Manifesto (with a pic of Greg Gillis, aka, 'Girl Talk')

2009-06-27T23:56:00.001+02:00

Girltalk -- Colour (After), originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

One of the movies on the Air Canada flight from Edmonton to London was Brett Gaylor's RIP: A REMIX MANIFESTO. (Download a remixable copy of RIP 2.0 here: http://www.opensourcecinema.org/project/rip2.0.)

The documentary is a wonderfully immersive introduction to the Creative Commons movement. Well worth seeing.

One of the artists featured in the movie is a remix musician called 'GirlTalk'. (Here's an interview with Greg Gillis, the dude behind the nom de plume: http://pitchfork.com/features/interviews/7522-girl-talk/.)

I LOVE what he does. And I HAVE TO get stuff he's done. Buttkickage of the highest order.

On the plane, I hit the pause button on a good shot of him. Whipped open the trusty li'l black Moleskine. And slammed some lines down with my Bic Intensity gel-ink pen.

So the black and white version is what I ended the flight with.

And the colour version is a high res scan brought into Photoshop CS3. The only thing I've done is draw various outlines, and use the colour adjustment tool to get some lovely smooth, flat colours going.

That's made possible specifically because of the fact that I scan at high res, in full colour, with low contrast. This means that the paper texture is part of the black and white picture, even though it can't be seen.

This picture is released under a Creative Commons 'Attribution Share-Alike' license. So remix at will.

Originated in black ink in an A6 unlined Moleskine. Scanned. Then tweaked for colour in Photoshop CS3 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.

Roy Blumenthal Making the Amy Goodman Visual Facilitation Pic

2009-06-21T16:54:00.001+02:00

Earlier this afternoon I caught the live streaming vidcast of the OPEN VIDEO CONFERENCE held in New York.

I liked what I was encountering. So I did a visual facilitation of some of the keynotes. You can see the pics I made in my Open Video Conference set on Flickr.

Amy Goodman spoke about Democracy Now, a free-tv station that seeks to put views across that aren't curtailed by corporate influence.

I made a pic of Amy Goodman's session.

I though it might be neat to show some of my process in speeded-up form.

So I zapped into www.artrage.com, started recording, and then hit 'Control Y' to redo everything right to the end state.

I brought the resulting AVI file into Adobe Premiere Pro CS3, where I sped it up substantially.

Once I had something that looked reasonable, I found some music. The track I settled on is sourced from the legally free jamendo.com. The track is called 'Minimoonstra', from the album THE FIRST PSYCHEDELIC TRIP VOL 2, by the band Speedsound. The entire album is released for free use under a Creative Commons 'Attribution' license.

I converted the MP3 to a WAV file in Audacity. Brought that into Premiere. And did some minor editing to sync up the emphasis points of the vid with movement in the music.

This is the result. A short, condensed journey into how I do visual facilitation.

This video was made on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc. I originated the pic in ArtRage 2.5. And did all video editing in Premiere Pro CS3. All streaming and uploading was courtesy of the free broadband internet connection in my hotel room in Union Bank Inn, Edmonton, Canada.

Crawford Schools -- DreamFlight Competition -- an animated overview

2009-06-11T14:11:00.001+02:00

My girlfriend, Jennifer, is a teacher at Crawford Prep, Sandton. She's also on the Ministry of Creativity, a national body aimed at spreading creativity in the classroom over all of the Crawford schools.

She recently asked me if it would be okay to help her out with a little video explaining the competition to her colleagues. We decided to approach it as a creative multimedia project.

She got photos and video footage of previous winners. I then made caricatures of them on ArtRage 2.5 on my tablet pc. I took my video camera to her classroom to get some moving footage for the vid. We asked the various winners for voice recordings of their accomplishments. We recorded these on my cellphone voicemail. And then tried to make the quality acceptable. I think we achieved that mostly. But some of Sean's talk is a bit lost in the electronic muddle.

I then took the voices and caricatures into CrazyTalk 6 (I'm using the closed beta version at the moment), and powered them to life.

This video is the result.

Sadly, non-Crawford people can't enter the competition. So this is here just so you can see the kinds of stuff they've up to.

Thanks once again to Antony Raijekov for his awesome Creative Commons licensed music. The track you hear is a slightly modified version of 'Fidder (2004)', from the 2007 album JAZZ U. It's licensed as CC 'Attribution, Non-Commercial'. Go grab it for yourself at Jamendo -- http://www.jamendo.com/en/album/3777

Three of the photos that appear briefly in the vid are from Flickr, also released under Creative Commons licenses. They are: 'Dream' by Ravichri (CC By-Attr-ND), 'Innovate' by Uncleweed (CC Attr-Share-Alike), and 'Yourself' by Ami Harikoshi (CC Attr). All other pictures are fair-use to illustrate the public topics they deal with.

All of the illustrations and animations are mine. As is the DreamFlight logo. I designed it using Creative Commons licensed illustrations that I modified.

Enjoy!

Roy Makes a Picture -- A Video of How Roy Works

2009-05-17T23:03:00.001+02:00

Roy Makes a Picture -- A Video of How Roy Works
Originally uploaded by royblumenthal

As part of a pitch for Missing Link to win a gig for Coca-Cola South Africa, I made a pic of the head honcho, Ilan.

As part of the pitch material, I documented the making of the picture.

I used the free and open source FREEZ SCREEN CAPTURE to record everything happening on my machine.

I set up my Sony VX1000 behind me on a tripod to catch the over-the-shoulder footage.

And I slammed it all into Adobe Premiere Pro CS3, and sped up all of the footage.

All of the painting is done in ArtRage 2.5 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.

[Missing Link won the pitch. As a result, I did a wonderful day of visual facilitation at the Coca-Cola Conference in Sun City.]

Redi Direko vs Floyd Shivambo -- The Animated Summary by Roy Blumenthal 320 x 240

2009-05-16T20:42:00.001+02:00

Redi Direko vs Floyd Shivambo -- The Animated Summary by Roy Blumenthal 320 x 240
Originally uploaded by royblumenthal

On Wednesday 13 May 2009, Redi Direko was hosting her talk show on 702 Talk Radio. During the show, she took ANC Youth League Spokesperson, Floyd Shivambo, to task. He was on record accusing DA leader, Helen Zille, of 'sleeping her way to the top'. He also suggested that the male members of her cabinet were her 'concubines'.

Shivambo phoned the station, outraged at being taken out of context, and demanding the right to reply, to explain what he meant.

Listen to the podcast for the full version of his incompetent idiocy. Or watch this animated summary to get a sense of what listeners and Direko had to go through. Here's the podcast link: is.gd/zKir.

I made the caricatures using ArtRage 2.5. I used Audacity to edit the audio down to an acceptable length of time. The animation was made using a closed beta version of CrazyTalk 6 (I was asked by the developers to be one of the beta testers of the software).

The music used in the end credit is by Antony Raijekov. It's released under a Creative Commons 'Attribution, Share-Alike' license.

The computer I'm working on is sponsored by Rectron South Africa. It's an Asus R1E tablet pc.

Re: Fw: REF METOC64270/1

2009-05-15T09:52:00.001+02:00

Hiya Steve...

I really am getting loads of these emails. From people hopping mad.

They seem to think that I work at Virgin, cos they address them to me
as 'your company blah blah blah'.

I really don't mind being a 'smooth the ruffled feathers' kinda dude.
But heck... Something's not lekker.

And I'm hearing these rumours from people who know a thing or two.

I don't wanna tell you how to run things. But I *do* wanna mention
that it's probably best to either squash the rumours by taking them on
directly, or be open to whatever truth component there is, and take
public responsibility for whatever's going down.

From my side of things, I'd really prefer it if Virgin Mobile stays in
business. And I really hope you can find a way of getting your
processes sorted. I *love* being s Virgin Mobile customer.

I have to say that even though I had a 'bad experience' with Virgin
Mobile, it was *nothing* compared to the crap service I subjected
myself to for a decade or more with AutoPage Cellular.

Having said that, you've got two challenges that must be dealt with:

1. These rumours are loud and clear and 'authoritative'. People on
Twitter are claiming that Virgin Mobile is pulling out of South
Africa, that Cell C is taking over the company, that VM is bankrupt.

2. One stupid blog post (mine) is getting a steady stream of EXTREME
disgruntlement from people being treated horribly by Virgin. This has
to be the tip of the iceberg. People who write to me must be a tiny
fraction of those who are being messed around.

Thanks for taking action on this woman's kid's party present, Steve.
It's really cool of you. And thanks for communicating it to me.

All the best.

Regards,
Roy

On 5/15/09, Steve Bailey <Steve.Bailey@virginmobile.co.za> wrote:
>
>
>
> Dear Roy,
>
> Thanks for the alert, I will deliver the phone to the customer today, in
> time for her daughter's birthday. We have taken the liberty of
> enclosing a birthday card from all of us at Virgin to.
>
> Regards
>
> Steve
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: schmucknews@gmail.com [mailto:schmucknews@gmail.com] On Behalf Of
> Roy Blumenthal
> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 11:39 AM
> To: Karonie Ramsamy; Steve Bailey; post@posterous.com; go@blogger.com
> Subject: Re: Fw: REF METOC64270/1
>
> That is PATHETIC of Virgin Mobile! Yeoooooow!
>
> I've cced Steve Bailey into this email. Hopefully he can sort
> something out. He's the CEO of Virgin Mobile. (Or was, the last time
> we communicated.)
>
> Steve...
>
> I'm getting way too many emails of this nature. Virgin HAS TO pull its
> socks up.
>
> I've been hearing strong rumours on Twitter that you guys are packing
> it in. But until you've packed it in, your doors are still open for
> business. It's best if you actually DO business.
>
> This is not great, Steve.
>
> Please respond to this message. I'm also posting it on my blog.
>
> On Thu, May 14, 2009 at 11:19 AM, Karonie Ramsamy
> <karonie@serendipitytours.co.za> wrote:
>> No The Customer Service Manager said she acnnot do anything and she
> will
>> cancel my contract and if the phone arrives tomorrow I must send it
> back
>> with the courier company
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Roy Blumenthal"
>> <royblumenthal@gmail.com>
>> To: "Karonie Ramsamy" <karonie@serendipitytours.co.za>
>> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 11:05 AM
>> Subject: Re: Fw: REF METOC64270/1
>>
>>
>> Oh man! What a runaround! You must have been so disappointed! Yikes,
>> Karonie! I can see how horrible this must have been for you. Did you
>> eventually GET the phone? Virgin really should get their act
>> together!!!
>>
>> Thanks for writing to me. Would you mind submitting this as a message
>> on my blog? That's the blog post you would have found my details on.
>>
>> Thanks!
>>
>> Regards
>> Roy
>>
>> On Thu, May 14, 2009 at 11:01 AM, Karonie Ramsamy
>> <karonie@serendipitytours.co.za> wrote:
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: Karonie Ramsamy
>>> To: notthathappy@virginmobile.co.za
>>> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 10:43 AM
>>> Subject: Fw: REF METOC64270/1
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: Karonie Ramsamy
>>> To: maweni@virginmobile.co.za
>>> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 10:38 AM
>>> Subject: REF METOC64270/1
>>>
>>>
>>> Hi
>>> My name is Karonie Ramsamy, I am so disappointed with the bad service
> I
>>> received from your company, I was hounded for a week with your
> special
>>> Sony
>>> Ericson w350i phone and eventually I got another call from Dean i
> decided
>>> to
>>> take the phone on 7 May , I Called Dean he was not in so another
> person
>>> assisted me and promised I would get the phone before Thursday 14May
> as
>>> this
>>> was my daughters 13 birthday present which is tomorrow 15May . I
> called
>>> daily and I spoke to Precious and Notlonga on Tuesday and Wednesday
> and I
>>> was told I would definatley get the phone before Friday as it is
> already a
>>> week from the order date. I called again this morning as i received a
>>> message from the courier company and was advised I will not get the
> phone
>>> today I called your office again and spoke to the manager of customer
>>> service who was absolutely of NO Help. I cannot believe the calibre
> of
>>> staff
>>> that you have . I am so disappointed with your company , She could
> not
>>> assist at all and did not offer any alternatives. You have not put me
> in a
>>> position wereby I was relying on this for a birthday present for
> tomorrow
>>> and now I do not have the phone especially after your company hounded
> me
>>> for this phone with false promises.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Kind Regards
>>>
>>> Karonie Ramsamy
>>> Tours Manager
>>> Serendipity Tours
>>> T : 031 3015230 / 0861 STOURS(0861-786 877)
>>> F : 086 679 42 62
>>> E : karonie@serendipitytours.co.za
>>> W : www.stours.net
>>> A : 9th Floor, Mercury House, 320 Smith St, Durban, 4000
>
> ------------------------------------------------
> ROY BLUMENTHAL
> Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director
>
> Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of
> Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile
>
> Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
> Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)
>
> Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
> Blog: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com
>
> Visual Facilitation: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation
> Illustrations: http://snipurl.com/SchmuckGallery
> ------------------------------------------------
> I use an Asus R1E tablet pc, sponsored by Rectron South Africa
>
> Steve Bailey
> |rocketseedSenderPhone@
> Fax: 011676 5448
> Cell: n/a
> Email: Steve.Bailey@virginmobile.co.za
> Website: www.virginmobile.co.za
>
>
>
>
>
> ©Virgin Mobile South Africa (Proprietary) Limited
> Directors: C.R. Berry (British), J. Hedberg (American), N.R. Kunene, F.
> Mambrini (Italian), G.D. McCallum (British), R.W. Samuelson (British)
>
> Disclaimer: 1) Confidentiality: This email, sent from
> Steve.Bailey@virginmobile.co.za to royblumenthal@gmail.com on Fri May 15
> 08:48:03 2009
> , is confidential and may contain privileged or copyright information. You
> may not present this message to another party without consent from the
> sender If you are not royblumenthal@gmail.com please notify
> Steve.Bailey@virginmobile.co.za and delete this email, and you are notified
> that disclosing, copying, distributing or taking any action in reliance on
> the contents of this information is strictly prohibited. 2) Liability: This
> email is not a binding agreement and does not conclude an agreement without
> the express confirmation by the sender's superior or a director of the
> Company. 3) Viruses: The Company does not certify that this email is free of
> viruses or defects. 4) Requested: The Company does not consent to its
> employees sending un-asked for emails which contravene the law. In the event
> that you feel this email is such, please notify the Company in order for the
> appropriate corrective action to be taken. 5) Advice: Any views or opinions
> presented in this email are solely those of the author and do not
> necessarily represent those of the company. Any actions taken on the basis
> of this email are at the reader's own risk. 6) Other: The sender of this
> email is expressly required not make any defamatory statements. Any such
> communication is contrary to company policy and outside the scope of the
> employment of the individual concerned. The company will not accept any
> liability in respect of such communication, and the employee responsible
> will be personally liable for any damages or other liability arising.
>
>
>

--
------------------------------------------------
ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director

Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of
Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile

Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)

Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Blog: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com

Visual Facilitation: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation
Illustrations: http://snipurl.com/SchmuckGallery
------------------------------------------------
I use an Asus R1E tablet pc, sponsored by Rectron South Africa

Re: Fw: REF METOC64270/1

2009-05-14T11:39:00.001+02:00

That is PATHETIC of Virgin Mobile! Yeoooooow!

I've cced Steve Bailey into this email. Hopefully he can sort
something out. He's the CEO of Virgin Mobile. (Or was, the last time
we communicated.)

Steve...

I'm getting way too many emails of this nature. Virgin HAS TO pull its socks up.

I've been hearing strong rumours on Twitter that you guys are packing
it in. But until you've packed it in, your doors are still open for
business. It's best if you actually DO business.

This is not great, Steve.

Please respond to this message. I'm also posting it on my blog.

On Thu, May 14, 2009 at 11:19 AM, Karonie Ramsamy
<karonie@serendipitytours.co.za> wrote:
> No The Customer Service Manager said she acnnot do anything and she will
> cancel my contract and if the phone arrives tomorrow I must send it back
> with the courier company
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Roy Blumenthal"
> <royblumenthal@gmail.com>
> To: "Karonie Ramsamy" <karonie@serendipitytours.co.za>
> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 11:05 AM
> Subject: Re: Fw: REF METOC64270/1
>
>
> Oh man! What a runaround! You must have been so disappointed! Yikes,
> Karonie! I can see how horrible this must have been for you. Did you
> eventually GET the phone? Virgin really should get their act
> together!!!
>
> Thanks for writing to me. Would you mind submitting this as a message
> on my blog? That's the blog post you would have found my details on.
>
> Thanks!
>
> Regards
> Roy
>
> On Thu, May 14, 2009 at 11:01 AM, Karonie Ramsamy
> <karonie@serendipitytours.co.za> wrote:
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Karonie Ramsamy
>> To: notthathappy@virginmobile.co.za
>> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 10:43 AM
>> Subject: Fw: REF METOC64270/1
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Karonie Ramsamy
>> To: maweni@virginmobile.co.za
>> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 10:38 AM
>> Subject: REF METOC64270/1
>>
>>
>> Hi
>> My name is Karonie Ramsamy, I am so disappointed with the bad service I
>> received from your company, I was hounded for a week with your special
>> Sony
>> Ericson w350i phone and eventually I got another call from Dean i decided
>> to
>> take the phone on 7 May , I Called Dean he was not in so another person
>> assisted me and promised I would get the phone before Thursday 14May as
>> this
>> was my daughters 13 birthday present which is tomorrow 15May . I called
>> daily and I spoke to Precious and Notlonga on Tuesday and Wednesday and I
>> was told I would definatley get the phone before Friday as it is already a
>> week from the order date. I called again this morning as i received a
>> message from the courier company and was advised I will not get the phone
>> today I called your office again and spoke to the manager of customer
>> service who was absolutely of NO Help. I cannot believe the calibre of
>> staff
>> that you have . I am so disappointed with your company , She could not
>> assist at all and did not offer any alternatives. You have not put me in a
>> position wereby I was relying on this for a birthday present for tomorrow
>> and now I do not have the phone especially after your company hounded me
>> for this phone with false promises.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Kind Regards
>>
>> Karonie Ramsamy
>> Tours Manager
>> Serendipity Tours
>> T : 031 3015230 / 0861 STOURS(0861-786 877)
>> F : 086 679 42 62
>> E : karonie@serendipitytours.co.za
>> W : www.stours.net
>> A : 9th Floor, Mercury House, 320 Smith St, Durban, 4000

------------------------------------------------
ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director

Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of
Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile

Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)

Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Blog: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com

Inspired Bicycles - Danny MacAskill April 2009

2009-04-21T18:36:00.001+02:00

My mind is blown. This redefines the word 'unbelievable'.

Danny MacAskill -- thank you for sharing your art with the world.

CubeCart CSS definitions list -- helping you sort out your CubeCart design

2009-03-04T09:06:00.001+02:00

Here's a resource for people who use CubeCart to drive their e-commerce.

I've recently adopted CubeCart 3 as the tool to sell my services as an illustrator, visual facilitator, and animated-summary creator. Check out my fledgling EaselEmpire.net site for my baby steps.

This post is a verbatim comment on http://www.scriptygoddess.com/archives/2006/12/28/cube-cart-vs-zen-cart/.

Ben Moffett:
February 8th, 2007 at 12:27 pm

I have had pretty good success with Cube Cart in the Past. I am definately going to check out the Squirrel Cart.
I noticed some of you were looking for definations for the CSS on Cube Cart. Here they are. It took me some time to find them….

.searchBtn — The "GO" button for your search box.
.searchBox — box that you write in for search
.textbox– The number that shows up in the quantity box from the view cart page
.submit — The "Join Now" button for mailing list, and the "Add" button for adding product codes to shopping cart.
li.bullet– little bullets that show up for the catagories
li.bulletLrg — bullet for "tell a friend"
li.num — numbers for products in sale and popular products
.txtSession — text for "Search for" "Welcome Guest" and brackets
.txtCopy– text in info box "products 2, catagories 1, prices: US dollars"
.txtSiteDocs– text "subscribe to our mailing list" and "Email"
a.txtSession, a.txtSiteDocs– "Login" and "Register"
a.txtSession:hover, a.txtSiteDocs:hover– mouse over for "Login" and "Register"
a.txtButton– "add to basket" button on product pages, and "buy" and "More" butttons on Catagory pages
a.txtButton:hover– rollover for "add to basket" button on product pages, and "buy" and "More" butttons on Catagory pages
.txtOldPrice– This is the price which by default appears with a line struck through when the item is on sale.
.txtSale– Price that shows on Catagory Page and product page
.txtOutOfStock– Text that tells a product is out of stock.
.txtSiteDocs, a.txtSiteDocs — links at bottom of page"about us, contact us . . ."
a.txtSiteDocs:hover– rollover for links at bottom of page"about us, contact us . . ."
a.txtDefault– text for categories box "Homepage, sale items", text for products names in Popular Products box and Sale Items box
a.txtDefault:hover, a.txtLink:hover, a.txtLocation:hover — rollover text for categories box "Homepage, sale items", text for products names in Popular Products box and Sale Items box
.txtContentTitle– Main Titles like "Welcome to Cube Cart" and Catagory Titles
.txtBoxSave– color of the text in the Sale box that says how much they save
.tblList– main area on catagory pages where the list of products is
.tdListTitle– text inside the main area "Image Description Price"
.tdEven– background color for the first product listed then every other one
.tdOdd– background color for the second product listed then every other one
.txtCartPrice– text for dollar amounts that show up in cart box on homepage- per item, items in cart and total prices-
.txtCart — Text "items in cart" and "Total" in cart box on homepage
.cartTotal– included dashed line that appears in cart box on homepage
a.txtCartProduct:active, a.txtCartProduct:link, a.txtCartProduct:visited– text for Products in cart box on home page
a.txtCartProduct:hover– roll over for text for Products in cart box on home page
a.txtviewCart:active, a.txtviewCart:link, a.txtviewCart:visited — text for "veiw basket" button in cart box on homepage
a.txtviewCart:hover — roll over for text for "veiw basket" button in cart box on homepage
.cartProgress — text inside cart that progresses as you go through check out "Cart— Address— Payment — Complete"
.txtcartProgressCurrent — this is the text color that shows up for the page that you are on in the progression of the cart, for example when you are on the address page, address is this color and the rest are the color you specified for .cartProgress
.quickBuy– Inside cart txt that asks " Want to add more items? Enter the Product Code:"
.tdcartTitle — txt Inside Cart at the top "Qty, Product, Code, Stock, Price, Line Price"
.tdcartEven– background color for second product inside cart and every other one
.tdcartOdd — background color for the first product inside cart and every other one
.tdCartSubTotal– includes line above subtotal
a.txtCheckout– text and box for "continue" button on cart pages
a.txtUpdate — text and box for "update cart" button on cart pages
.txtStockWarn– text for when an item is out of stock
.txtError — text for when someone messes up while filling out information during cart process
.txtCopyright, a.txtCopyright — text for Copywrite info at bottom of page
a.txtCopyright:hover– roll over for Copywrite info at bottom of page
.dropDown– width of drop downs
Layout.CSS for Classic Skin
body — entire window attributes
#pageSurround– large floating window inside window
#topHeader– top section of page surround
.boxTitleLeft, .boxTitleRight — top area of boxes in left and right columns where title appears
.boxContentLeft, .boxContentRight– main area of boxes in left and right columns
.colLeft — left column attributes or positioning
.colMid — middle large column attributes or positioning
.colRight– right column attributes or positioning
.boxContent– middle columns box (where to change colors, background, borders, and some text)
.colLeftCheckout — check out pages positioning for left column
.colMainCheckout — checkout pages positioning for main column
.siteDocs — positioning and attributes for box at bottom that contains "About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions"
.pagination — main large box on catagory pages
.regSep– the "need to register?" box in checkout

Alan Stevens makes me an entire marketing tip in an article in SPEAKER, March 2009

2009-03-02T22:13:00.001+02:00

SPEAKER March 2009 -- Roy mentioned, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

London-based media guru, Alan Stevens, honours me with a huge mention in the latest issue of the American magazine, SPEAKER. (To navigate to the story, use the 'Contents' tab on the magazine page, and go to page 32.)

In his column, BEYOND BORDERS, he offers eight marketing tips that he's picked up from his travels around the world.

He says, 'Consider using cartoon portraits or graphics to market yourself. They can make you stand out from the normal head-and-shoulders shot. I was "cartooned" by artist Roy Blumenthal in Durban, and have used the graphic very effectively.'

Not bad! Thanks for making me an entire marketing tip, Alan!

I've composited the cover, and clips from Alan's article into the top half of this picture.

The illustration at the bottom is a visual summary of a talk Alan gave at the annual conference of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa last year.

If you know of anyone who might want to make use of my visual facilitation skills, please head for my portfolio and pricing page at http://royblumenthal.com/portfolio.

And remember that every new client of mine is entitled to a one-third-off discount as my special introductory offer.

Act now! Book me by sending Jennifer an email at bookings@royblumenthal.com.

Roy's Rate Sheet for Visual Facilitation, Animated Summaries, and Illustrations -- valid until 30 June 2009

2009-02-26T09:00:00.001+02:00

The Easel Empire -- Roy Blumenthal Visual Facilitator -- Roy's Rate Sheet till 30 June 2009 LQ, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Here's my latest rate sheet for my illustration, visual facilitation, and animated summaries.

You can download the high res JPG (valid through 30 June 2009) from Flickr: http://flickr.com/photos/royblumenthal/3311164932/.

Or you can get the most up-to-date version in PDF form from my website. This link is the shortened 'snipurl', for convenience. It's at: http://snipurl.com/royratesheetpdf.

Please feel free to download it and spread the word about my services.

And remember, all first-time clients of mine get a ONE-THIRD-OFF introductory discount so they can sample my services.

Discount voucher is downloadable from http://snipurl.com/OneThirdOff.

Easel Empire Introductory Discount Coupon Card -- One Third Off!

2009-02-25T19:25:00.001+02:00

Easel Empire Introductory Discount Coupon Card -- One Third Off!, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Here's a special discount voucher for you to print out and pass on!

Feel free to hand this voucher to whoever you feel might be interested in using my services.

The voucher is valid for the entire duration of 2009.

Here's how it works...

If you've never engaged my services before for illustration, visual facilitation, or animated summaries, you get a full ONE-THIRD knocked off my usual price.

(For my current price-list, please head for http://royblumenthal.com/portfolio.)

Spread the love. Let people know.

I'm pretty darn confident that if people use me once, they'll use me many more times at my full price. The discount is my way of helping people overcome their uncertainty about what exactly it is I do.

Give it a go. Use the coupon. It's here for you!

(Thanks to Jennifer for writing the sales copy on the coupon. And thanks to Keith Wilmot of The Coca-Cola Company for the glowing testimonial.)

This voucher is made up of loads of elements. Sketches in my Moleskine. Original paintings created in ArtRage 2.5. Original paintings made in PhotoShop CS3. All on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.

Roy Dressed by Habari Media Direct

2009-02-23T13:43:00.001+02:00

Roy Dressed by Habari Media Direct, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

This past Saturday, I wore one of Habari Media Direct's soccer shirts on television, as a bit of guerrilla marketing.

It's all part of an offer I've made to whoever wants to send me their company cap or tshirt.

Graeme MacPherson (otherwise known on Twitter as @greymacpherson) was the first to take me up on my offer.

I prepped this drawing as a possible picture for the show to end on. The director was cool with it. But for some reason, the producer said, 'No. We need the previous pic on screen. Sorry Roy.'

So here it is.

When I package the clip for Graeme, I'll pop this pic into the video.

This painting was made in ArtRage 2.5 live in the studio of CNBC AFRICA's weekly magazine show, Kaleidoscope before we recorded the show last Thursday. I tweaked it in PhotoShop CS3. No crew members were harmed in the display of my naked body.

Success -- What You Need -- Some of the Icons for Anthony Iannarino's New Book

2009-02-10T07:57:00.001+02:00

Anthony Iannarino (http://twitter.com/iannarino) is a Twitter bud of mine. He approached me recently about creating some icons for the chapter headings of his latest book on how to succeed in sales.

When I'm done, there'll be twenty icons in total.

Anthony has been good enough to give me permission to share the pictures with you before the book is done.

Please visit any of Anthony's websites, and support him when his e-book comes out...

Website: http://www.santhonyiannarino.com
Blog: http://www.thesalesblog.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/iannarino
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/iannarino
Public Speaking: http://www.speakersite.com/profile/santhonyiannarino

Ray Wicksell on 'How To Build a Brand'

2009-01-30T23:44:00.001+02:00

Ray Wicksell's Voucher, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Ray Wicksell appears on tomorrow's episode of 'Kaleidoscope', the business magazine show on CNBC AFRICA. (It's at 8:30pm Central African Time. In South Africa, it's on Channel 410 on DStv. In Africa, it's on several satellite channels.)

Ray's a long-distance runner turned marketer. His long term sponsor -- Nike -- converted his running shoes into the footing for a massive career in South Africa. He's the guy who headed up the South African Nike team when they first came to our shores.

In the show, he talks about what a company needs to do in order to keep a brand alive and kicking.

What he doesn't talk about on air is the fact that he's also a property developer. So if you're in the market for ultra-luxury lving, you might want to look at his website -- http://www.living4u.co.za or http://www.living4u.com -- and pick out your apartment in one of his golfing estates.

Oh... if you're wondering about the 'I am not Arnold' quote... Ray is a dead ringer for Arnold Schwarzenegger. He even had a bad spell with a stalker. She simply wouldn't believe that he WASN'T Arnie. Wild stuff.

The painting this coupon is based on was made live in studio during the recording of this week's episode of Kaleidoscope. I painted it in ArtRage 2.5 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc. I took it into Photoshop CS3, and did my manipulations there.

Rolex gets the time wrong before a global tennis audience!!!

2009-01-23T16:45:00.001+02:00

Rolex gets the time wrong before a global tennis audience!!!, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Marcos Baghdatis is standing in front of the Rolex clock in Melbourne.

The analogue clock says it's five to one. While the digital counterpart says it's five to two.

Maybe it's not a real Rolex? Maybe it's a fong kong Bolex, R0lex, Nolex?

(Subtext: if you're gonna do stadium marketing, get it right, huh?)

Visual Facilitation R500 Off Voucher -- Anton Crone, Saatchi & Saatchi Cape Town

2009-01-23T00:58:00.001+02:00

Visual Facilitation R500 Off Voucher -- Anton Crone, Saatchi & Saatchi Cape Town, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Anton Crone was one of the guests at today's live recording of the tv show I'm part of... CNBC AFRICA's weekly magazine show, 'Kaleidoscope'.

He's a Creative Director at Saatchi & Saatchi Cape Town.

He was in the studio to talk about an incredible Guinness commercial that should start flighting in Europe shortly. It features a whirlwind going about its whirly business, demonstrating the elements required to make a great glass of Guinness.

I'm not a fan of alcohol advertising. In fact, I'm an opponent of the entire discipline of advertising alcohol. I believe it's one of the key causes of alcoholism. (Apart from the dumbfuckery of the alcoholics themselves, of course.)

But in this case, I'll probably have to make an exception. It's a brilliant ad, brilliantly made. And if I were still an advertising whore, I'd wish I'd written it.

This is the blank version of a voucher I'm sending to Anton to make use of my services. It's part of a self-marketing drive to leverage my presence on Kaleidoscope.

The components of this painting were all made live in studio this afternoon on my Rectron-sponsored ASUS R1E tablet pc, running ArtRage 2.5. No alcohol was consumed during or after the making of this voucher.

Bring your meetings and presentations to life with Roy Blumenthal’s Visual Facilitation

2009-01-20T01:38:00.002+02:00

Roy offers two key products that’ll help you power up your message...

VISUAL FACILITATION:

He creates live, on-the-spot, painted interpretations of talks, projecting his original artworks on a big screen. All paintings are digital, and are available to delegates at the end of the event.

Book Roy today by emailing Jennifer at bookings@royblumenthal.com .

VISUAL FACILITATION PRICING:

8-hour day: R12 450 (US$1 245, GB£845, €945).
4-hour half-day: R7 950 (US$795, GB£535, €595).
Up to 2-hours: R4 470 (US$445, GB£295, €335).

ANIMATED SUMMARIES:

He produces custom-made animated caricatures which deliver summaries in the speaker’s own voice. These movies make ideal promos to put on your website. They’re also excellent as client giveaways.

ANIMATED SUMMARIES PRICING:

A base-price of R7 450 (US$745, GB£495, €560) plus R740 (US$77, GB£47, €57) per running minute.

Here are some examples of animated summaries I've made:

Here's one I did for Rich...! at Missing Link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=endJF_KqZdU

Here's one I did for Warwick Cairns, summarizing his book, HOW TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqS53JTFyZg

And here's one I made for Paul du Toit, a public speaker:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-GnZtWPZo4

Finally, here's an animated testimonial of what I do from Keith Wilmot, Global Director: Insights, Ideas, & Creativity for the Coca-Cola Company in Atlanta:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykvtGmiBgDc

Can you picture it? Roy can!

And here's my portfolio of publically viewable paintings from visual facilitations I've done for companies and on television.

An assortment of Pictures from Roy's Visual Facilitations:

If you'd like to book Roy for your next event, please feel free to email Jennifer at bookings@royblumenthal.com .

Is Opera Mini on your Symbian phone secure?

2009-01-01T12:54:00.009+02:00

I tweeted recently about loving the Opera Mini web browser I installed on my Nokia E71 smartphone.

Twitter user, e71nokia, says, 'Beware!'

One of the responses I received came from a Twitter user called 'e71nokia'. The response warns me that Opera Mini is supposedly not secure, and that only the Nokia browser should be used for sensitive information...

I'm deeply suspicious of a Twitter profile that has absolutely NO information about the person. Here's a screenshot of the profile page:

Note that 'e71nokia is following three people, and is being followed by four. There is NO information about this person. Nada. This leads me to believe that it's just some arbitrary person who may be a Nokia enthusiast. But certainly not an officially sanctioned Nokia spokesperson.

So I decided to check out this claim.

IS Opera Mini on my E71 secure?

Am I in danger of having my details nabbed by hackers?

Here are my findings.

Using the search string, 'is opera mini secure', I Googled the issue.

Dev.Opera.Com says, 'You can trust Opera Mini to be secure'

The Dev.Opera.Com website, in an article dated 25 October 2007, explicitly states the following:

Note: Security is an important matter, which Opera takes very seriously. The connection between the Opera Mini client and server is always encrypted, whether the original site is HTTP or HTTPS, therefore> you can trust Opera Mini to be secure.

Opera Mini Help says, 'Information is encrypted', but only in 'advanced versions of Opera Mini 3.0 and newer versions'.

Let's go next to Opera Mini itself... to the horse's mouth, so to speak.

In the 'Opera Mini Help' section, the FAQ has a section devoted to 'Security'. Here's what it says:

Q: Can I browse securely with Opera Mini?
A: Yes.

Q: Does Opera Mini support encrypted connections?
A: Yes. Information sent between your handset and the Web site is encrypted in the advanced version of Opera Mini 3.0 and newer versions.

In the basic version of Opera Mini 3.0, and in older versions, there is no encryption between your handset and the Opera Mini servers. See a more detailed explanation here.

That proviso is important. If you're NOT running a version of Opera Mini HIGHER THAN 3.0, your browsing is vulnerable to snooping. If you ARE running a later version, your browsing IS secure. Point blank.

Wikipedia says 'the connection [...] is always encrypted', but, Opera Mini 'does not offer true, end-to-end security'.

Finally, in the interests of being safe, I turned to the Wikipedia entry on Opera Mini.

Here's what section 3.2 Privacy and Security has to say:

Privacy and security

When using Opera Mini 4.0 or 3.0 Advanced, the connection between the mobile device and the proxy server is always encrypted for privacy and security. The encryption key is obtained on the first start by requesting that the user press random keys a certain number of times.[45] When using Opera Mini 3.0 Basic, the connection is not encrypted. Opera Mini has received some criticism because it does not offer true, end-to-end security when visiting encrypted sites such as PayPal.com.[46] When visiting an encrypted web page, the Opera Software company's servers decrypt the page, then re-encrypt it themselves, breaking end-to-end security.[47]

I'm certainly no authority on this. So my reading is open to question. As far as I can make out, what this means is that the connection between the information on my E71 and the particular website is ALWAYS intermediated by the Opera Mini servers.

This takes place through an encrypted connection AT ALL TIMES.

The one 'breaking' of security comes not in transit, but within the Opera Mini servers, between Opera Mini and the site in question... BUT this 'break' is merely to do with decrypting of the information for Opera itself to parse it. It remains encrypted to third parties.

My conclusion: Opera Mini IS safe, even though there are end-to-end security issues.

From my readings, I'm concluding that Opera Mini is indeed safe, and that the end-to-end issues don't render data vulnerable to attack, thanks to Opera Mini's data transfer being 'always encrypted'.

Is Twitter user e71nokia trustworthy?

Coming full circle to Twitter user, 'e71nokia', my guess is that his or her intentions are good. And that they're offering a conservative reading of the 'end-to-end' security 'break'. I'm suspecting that they're saying it's better to be safe than sorry. Which is a great bit of advice.

However, I STILL don't trust an entity that offers no information about itself. I WANT e71nokia to offer proper details. A site to visit. Credentials. An explanation of why they're on Twitter. It's NOT good enough to have a blank profile doling out potentially harmful advice.

Is my understanding of the issue correct? IS Opera Mini safe for sensitive transactions?

Regarding the securty of Opera Mini... Is my understanding correct? Are there any Opera Mini boffs who can offer better clarity? This is a huge issue. If my Opera Mini transactions aren't secure, I need to know that. And I need to know about workarounds. Thoughts?

Here's looking at ewe, kid! -- rotting sheep's heads at Durban Docks

2008-12-24T08:22:00.002+02:00

On our way to Wilson's Warf on the Durban Docks, the road narrows. You look down onto a mossy stretch of sand and water.

We looked down.

And looking back up at us were five or six decapitated sheep's heads, all resting on the sand.

I leapt out of the car with Jennifer's camera, and made my way down to the sand.

I can't even begin to describe the stench. But I had to brave the smell to get a photo or two.

I was okay for the first click or two. But I looked up and saw Jennifer crouching near the car. I thought she was gagging. And that stirred my own gag reflex.

The vomit streamed out of me. I averaged one minor hurl and one major hurl per photo taken. Suffice to say it was a short session. But I think I got at least two decent pics.

But it's a haunting scene for me. What the heck were those heads DOING there? Who threw them out? Why? Why doesn't someone clear them away?

E coli! The joy of swallowing other people's crap in the sea!

2008-12-22T22:41:00.002+02:00

So Jennifer and I decided to live a little. On the wild side. To take some chances in our ever-more-padded and sanitized world.

Our method of splashing out? To head for the South Coast of Durban for a swim, instead of the more affluent North Coast.

Where before, we went to the wealthy shores of Umhlanga Rocks for our beach fun, on Friday we decided to try the less affluent Amanzimtoti Beach.

It's probably more accurate to talk of 'effluence' rather than 'affluence'.

It was only after a good two hours of swimming, once we headed off to find a shower to hose the sea water off us that we spotted the info board.

'Beach cleanliness: A+,' it said.

'E coli: HIGH,' it said.

Jennifer and I looked at each other. Decoded the legend at the bottom. I said, 'If we get it, we get it.'

Jen said, 'Let's get some food.'

That evening, I was the first to succumb. 2.30am, and my stomach was sounding like a sewerage pipe spewing tons of shredded all-bran flakes into the sea. Jennifer's tummy followed the next morning.

Saturday morning.

Saturday morning in Durban.

Taking turns contributing e coli to the sewerage system.

Each flush thrusting swarms of little e coli soldiers right back where they came from... Amanzimtoti.

Thanks very much to Dr DN Naidoo, a Durban-based GP we lucked on by walking into the first non-clinic we could find. Turns out he's not only a patient, kind, caring doctor with an excellent bedside manner... But he's ALSO a doctor to the stars. The underworld stars. The effluent of society... The dudes in prison. He mentioned Shabir Shaik. And unnamed others. And then prescribed Kantrexil.

HOW TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY by Warwick Cairns -- a multimedia animated summary

2008-12-01T22:55:00.000+02:00

HOW TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY is Warwick Cairns's second book. It's all about how the arbitrary 'safety' and 'health' laws imposed on us by 'the people who run things' are actually really bad for us. The book details strategies for taking back our power, and living better lives as a result.

This video is a multimedia summary of the book.

THE SCRIPTING PROCESS
I contacted Warwick with the idea. And he wrote a first draft script. I edited that, and sent it back to him for further revision. When he was happy that the script accurately represented the contents of his book, he made several voice recordings of the material.

SOUND DESIGN

I chose the best version, and started my sound design. I believe that the audio component of a movie supplies more than 70% of the power of a piece. As I do the sound design, ideas flow for the visuals. I wanted the soundtrack to be able to stand alone as an adio-only podcast, if Warwick wants to use it as such.

JAMENDO.COM & CREATIVE COMMONS

My starting point was to search http://www.jamendo.com/ for Creative Commons 'Attribution' or 'Attribution, Share-Alike' tracks. I specifically remove any track that specifies 'non-commercial' as one of the preconditions for using it. The two licenses I zone in on allow me to mold the music to my needs. With a hat tip to the musicians. In essence, I take their solid tracks, and sculpt them into what I need for the piece I have in mind.

For this type of work, I always search for heavy metal or hard rock first. I find that these genres offer the most energy and diversity of tracks. They almost always have killer bridges, with amazing musicianship. Really good raw material to work with.

I sourced several tracks from Jamendo. And brought them into Audacity, along with Warwick's vocal track. And I built the audio from there.

SKETCHES

In this piece, I sketched several pictures in my little Moleskine. All of these sketches were done in bed, with a copy of the script to hand. I did them in a sort of order, following the logic that Warwick and I created in the script.

My next task was to scan the pics, and work them in PhotoShop CS3. I coloured and textured the pics, squashed and squished them. And generally made them realllllly vivid. A few of those sketches didn't make it into the final film. But most of them did.

EDITING THE MOVIE

Next up was throwing the pics and sound design onto my timeline in Adobe Premiere Pro on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

THE CARICATURE OF WARWICK

While I was messing around in Premiere, editing, I took a break. I opened ArtRage on my Asus R1E tablet pc, started my video capture program, and made my caricature of Warwick in one short sitting. It took about ten minutes for me to get it to my satisfaction.

ANIMATING THE CARICATURE IN CRAZYTALK

I then opened CrazyTalk 5.0 on my Toshiba Tecra M4, popped the caricature in, dropped the voice-only track in, and got Warwick's pic talking nicely. When I was happy with the 'acting' of the avatar, I exported as a high res AV. That turned into a 5 gig file!

I slapped the animation movie into Premiere. And then followed tons of fanatical detail work. I originally intended painting speech bubbles for Warwick. But early on in the sound design, I decided to rather go for illustrative pics.

FLICKR & CREATIVE COMMONS

So I sourced suitable photos, using the Flickr Creative Commons search tool. I use the same criteria for pics as I do for music. The pieces HAVE TO be under 'Attribution', or 'Attribution, Share-Alike' licenses.

I found about twenty or so pics, and when trying them, found that most weren't reallllly what I wanted. Everything looks very different when the audio and video come together.

PICTURE AND MUSIC CREDITS

All of the picture and music credits are listed at the end of the movie, and here in the metadata...

MUSIC CREDITS:

"Drowned Devoured"
by Outselling of Lies
(Album: THE BEGINNING)
"Marchand de Bonheur" (nouvelle version)
by Contreband
(Album: À CONTRE PIED)
"Comercial de Verdade Verdadeira"
by Jailson Brito Jr
(Album: MATA BARATA)
"Dream Zero"
by Marc Reeves
(Album: LUCID DREAMSONGS)

All available from http://www.jamendo.com/.
All distributed under Creative Commons licenses.

PHOTO CREDITS:

"Work Day" by beverlytaz / Beverly Lussier
All Rights Reserved -- Used by Permission
http://www.sxc.hu/photo/830277
"Living room Panorama" by .Larry Page / Larry Page
Creative Commons -- Attribution
http://www.flickr.com/photos/igboo/2076313727/
"Stitched" (Bike in Park) by condour / Michael Condouris
Creative Commons -- Attribution
http://www.flickr.com/photos/condour/129132282/
"Crazy descent off of the hill" by Brett L. / Brett L.
Creative Commons -- Attribution, Share-Alike
http://www.flickr.com/photos/brettlider/87141926/
"patton and the sign" by striatic / hobvias sudoneighm
Creative Commons -- Attribution
http://www.flickr.com/photos/striatic/141173911/
"This Is The City" by Oslo In The Summertime / Michael King
Creative Commons -- Attribution
http://www.flickr.com/photos/oslointhesummertime/1121768988/

THE FINISHED PRODUCT

This little vid took me about a week of solid work to crack. Deeply enjoyable for me. Warwick's publishers on both sides of the Atlantic (Britain and the US) are very keen to make use of the vid to promote the book.

CONTACT ME FOR YOUR VERY OWN ANIMATED SUMMARY
If you need any animated summaries made of any of your talks, get in touch with me. I work internationally, and I'm keen to see what I can produce for you. My email address is royblumenthal@gmail.com. My website is at http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation.

CNBC AFRICA -- Kaleidoscope: Grant Baker Talks About Firehouse

2008-11-25T12:38:00.001+02:00

CNBC AFRICA -- Kaleidoscope: Grant Baker Talks About Firehouse, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Grant Baker is the chief honchito at Firehouse, a rising superstar ad-agency in Johannesburg.

He was interviewed in the CNBC AFRICA studios about the innovative recruitment advertising campaign his company ran to attract talented staff to the agency.

Not very many agencies in South Africa run any kind of advertising for themselves. So when Firehouse ran this campaign, they were really putting their hoses on the block.

The superb thing about running killer recruitment ads (and if I were still in the agency world, I'd definitely be sending them my cv -- the ads are ULTRA hot) is that they kill many birds with one stone.

1. You attract brilliant staff.

2. You send a message to your competitors that they have to up the game. Complacency in the ad world is what's ruining the business. So anything that shakes the game up gives advertising a few more breaths of life.

3. You send a message to your current clients that they're in great hands. If I were a Firehouse client seeing those ads somewhere, I'd be bragging to all of my friends that these guys did MY work.

4. You send a message to untapped clients. Clients who might be disgruntled with the crap attitudes of their current agencies. Clients who might know a thing or two about quality advertising. And you gain new business.

To my mind, Grant Baker walks his talk. And his ad campaign proves it. This is one of the very few ad agencies in South Africa I would be happy to shelve my advertising cynicism for.

This painting was made live in the CNBC AFRICA studio in Sandton during the interview. I made it using ArtRage 2.5 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc. I'm available to do visual facilitation work worldwide, translating ideas into vivid colour during meetings, workshops, seminars, and presentations. Contact me on royblumenthal@gmail.com. And view my online portfolio at http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation.

Animated Rich...! Mulholland tells us about Missing Link

2008-11-18T12:47:00.000+02:00

Rich...! Mulholland is the founder of Missing Link. (http://missinglink.co.za )

He appeared last Saturday on the television show I work on. I'm the inhouse visual facilitator for Kaleidoscope on CNBC AFRICA, making pictures of the ideas liberated by the interview process.

Because Rich...! was in an insert, the picture I made of him went unaired. So I figured I'd turn it into an animation. I smsed him a rough script, and asked him to send me voice files via email.

He tweaked them, and made them his own, and sent them to me. I did a sound design and audio edit, and then made the speech bubbles to fit.

This little video is the result.

The music is by a Russian heavy metal band that I found on my favourite Creative Commons site, Jamendo ( http://www.jamendo.com ). The band's name is МакЕнтош.
http://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/Artist_(3) . And the song is called "Сердце из камня, душа из металла". Download the full, unedited song for yourself -- it's terrific: http://www.jamendo.com/en/album/22041...

If you need any animated summaries made of any of your talks, get in touch with me. I work internationally, and I'm keen to see what I can produce for you. My email address is royblumenthal@gmail.com. My online gallery is at http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation.

Painting: ArtRage 2.5 & Photoshop CS3. Animation: CrazyTalk 5.1 Pro. Audio Editing: Audacity. Video Editing: Adobe Premiere Pro

YouTube Tags:

Kyle Lindsay Leaks News of a New Elusion Music Video Coming Up

2008-11-01T21:36:00.001+02:00

Kyle Lindsay Leaks News of a New Elusion Music Video Coming Up
Originally uploaded by royblumenthal

Kyle Lindsay, lead singer of Elusion, leaked the fact that they're about to shoot a music video for the fifth track on their debut cd, the song 'Everything is Good'.

I was busy sketching him at the time, capturing his chiselled face in my Moleskine. I immediately whipped out my Nokia E71, on loan from Virgin Mobile South Africa, and asked him to repeat his news into the microphone.

I zapped home, and flung the pic into ArtRage 2.5, powered some colour into it, then smacked it immediately into CrazyTalk 5.1 Pro. Animated and ready for love, I mashed the clip into Adobe Premiere Pro, where I edited it into shape.

All on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

The music in the background is... you guessed right... the last bit of the song in question.

The Business of Public Seminars -- Animated Summary

2008-11-01T00:21:00.001+02:00

Paul du Toit is one of South Africa's busiest and most hardworking public speakers.

He makes a substantial income from one of his lines of business -- conducting public seminars.

He shared his secrets with the Johannesburg chapter of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa (PSASA) in a one-hour workshop.

I was present, making notes. This animation is my summary of the evening. Paul graciously visited my home to record the voice track. And I did all of the painting and animating. (And editing, and everything else.)

The music is by Derek R Audette, and is used under the terms outlined on his website... http://derekaudette.ottawaarts.com/index2.php

If you're interested in how my brand of visual facilitation can add value to your event, please feel free to contact me via email on royblumenthal@gmail.com. My portfolio is at http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation.

The seven points covered in this video are:

1. Ask yourself WHY you want to put on a public seminar.

2. Advertise well in advance of the event. Get front page or early right hand page placement.

3. For a general audience, have a topic with broad appeal.

4. An amazing venue, food, and a high-value giveaway are big drawcards.

5. Have systems. Secretarial backup. And easy-to-use internet booking tools.

6. Negotiate supplier prices. For example, venue costs.

7. Get paid 5 working days before the event.

All of the work for this was done on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc. I used ArtRage 2.5 for the painting, CrazyTalk 5.1 Pro for the animation, and Premiere Pro for the editing. The music is an edit of a track titled 'Shunned' by Derek R Audette -- http://derekaudette.ottawaarts.com/index2.php. Thanks for the music, Derek!

Latte Licious Froth Art by Thapelo, aka 'TP'

2008-10-24T10:10:00.002+02:00

Latte Licious Froth Art by Thapelo, aka 'TP', originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Wow! What a cool pic! (I mean the pic on the froth, not the photo of the pic on the froth.) TP, the barrista at Latte Licious in Nelson Mandela Square in Sandton made this piece of shlurpable art. Thanks dude.

Roy Blumenthal Visual Facilitator: CNBC AFRICA Kaleidoscope

2008-10-22T18:10:00.001+02:00

I was interviewed on air on Saturday 4 October 2008 about my new role on the Kaleidoscope team.

I'm the show's resident visual facilitator, making pictorial interpretations of the interviews on the show.

We broadcast every Saturday night, 7:30pm to 8:00pm Central African Time (which is +2 hours GMT), on CNBC AFRICA. That's on Channel 410 on South Africa's DStv, and in various free-to-air satellite offerings across Africa.

I work on an Asus R1E tablet pc, sponsored by Rectron South Africa. I use ArtRage software to make my paintings.

I hope you'll check out my visual facilitation portfolio online. It's at http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation.

Hire me. I work internationally.

Tags: cnbc africa cnbcafrica kaleidoscope mandlakazi mpahlwa roy blumenthal royblumenthal coffeeshopschmuck visualfacilitation

Kaleidoscope Promo

2008-10-10T09:42:00.001+02:00

Kaleidoscope Promo
Originally uploaded by royblumenthal

I'm now a weekly co-anchor of CNBC AFRICA's business magazine show, 'Kaleidoscope'. Mandlakazi Mpahlwa draws information out of our guests. And I draw that info live on screen on my Asus R1E tablet pc.

I wrote this promo for the show when Catherine Gargan, my senior producer at CNBC AFRICA, confirmed that we'd be going ahead.

I had already secured a sponsorship deal with Rectron. They agreed to supply an Asus R1E tablet pc for me to use on the show.

However, when our shoot date arrived, there was no stock of the machine in the country. So I had to use my trusty old Toshiba Tecra M4 as the star of the show.

Thanks to Catherine Gargan for producing and directing, Bathabile Modutoane for camera, everyone in studio for getting the feed right, and Andre Oosthuizen for editing.

All paintings I make for the show will be made on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc, running ArtRage 2.5. The show airs via satellite on Saturday nights, 7:30pm to 8:00pm (Central African TIme, or GMT +2 hours), on CNBC AFRICA. That's channel 410 on DStv.

2008-09-26 Ha

2008-09-26T22:19:00.001+02:00

2008-09-26 Ha, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

This pic started out as a bit of black and white doodling in the CNBC Africa studio.

I was showing some of the crew how the Asus R1E works. I handed the stylus over to one of them, and she drew a few lines. One of the others then took over the stylus, and added a line or two, and the speech bubble.

When I got home, I decided to push it into the world of art.

This is the result.

This painting was made on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc, using personally paid-for ArtRage 2.5 software.

2008-09-26 -- Mandla Mpahlwa -- Interviewer -- CNBC AFRICA Kaleidoscope

2008-09-26T22:17:00.001+02:00

2008-09-26 -- Mandla Mpahlwa -- Interviewer -- CNBC AFRICA Kaleidoscope, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

I made this pic while I was being interviewed by Mandla in the CNBC AFRICA 'Kaleidoscope' studio during our dummy run.

I'm doing live visual facilitation for all studio interviews as of Saturday 4 October.

In our kick-off show, Mandla will be chatting to me about what visual facilitation actually is. Then I'll spend the rest of the show standing at my easel and making artworks based on what people are saying.

The speech bubble here in this pic of Mandla came about when she turned to the huge video wall behind us and reacted with a tiny amount of disbelief.

I knew what she was going to say, so, as she was looking, I drew the bubble, and wrote the words almost as she said them.

The dummy run was a complete success. And we've tested the technology. And it all works spiffingly.

Notice the paper background I've painted Mandla on. If you look carefully, you'll see that it says 'Asus' in a repeated motif.

That's because the computer I'm now doing my visual facilitation on is a sponsered machine.

Rectron South Africa, the guys who distribute Asus here (amongst other machines), have given me a high-end Asus R1E to use on the show, and in my paid gigs. There's a good chance I'll be putting other machines from their stable under the unique pressure I apply to tablet pcs.

I want you to know that I'll be writing commentary about the machine every now and again. All kindnesses I display towards the machine are real. And all negative comments are also real. The fact that the computer is a freebie is not a factor in this.

I've discussed this with Sebastian Isaac, the Marketing Director of Rectron. And I've spelled out that I'll be providing fair comment. He's happy with that. I'm happy with that.

I will continue my habit of transparent attribution whenever I use a machine.

This painting was made live in the CNBC AFRICA 'Kaleidoscope' studio on a Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc, running my own paid-for version of ArtRage 2.5.

Peter Boyd responds to my apology... to Edmund Reddy and thank you to Virgin Mobile South Africa

2008-09-21T21:33:00.001+02:00

I had coffee with Peter last week Thursday, and he told me that I was
welcome to post his response to my apology. So here it is. He sent it
to me first thing the morning after I posted it.

Hi Roy,

Your note from last night really made me smile. Thanks so much for
taking the time to write it too.
The negative comments are always quick to flow (and nearly always
justified when the consumer is annoyed), but it takes dedication as an
active consumer to write the constructive comments - so a big thanks
to you: it has such a brilliant effect on the team.

As I said in one of my responses to your blog, I am incredibly proud
of the team (though I get very annoyed when things fall short, its got
to be said). As you mention, we are in the process of hiring a new
Head of Customer Services, so I am even more proud of the more junior
team stepping up when and where they can, and appreciate our
consumers' patience as we make the change.

I am also very acutely aware that you are just one consumer turned
'back to volunteer evangelism' from a negative experience, and we have
to work hard to get through the group of our first upgraders (among
them your friends on the blog and twitter), as well as welcome the
newer people who are joining up (in good numbers by the way - the club
is growing nicely!).

Finally, I still want you to take me up on the offer of a coffee this
week - we want to be the most talked about mobile provider (in a good
way!). We know we need to earn it, and I am sure you have some great
tips for us.
The path of the 'giant-killer', as you put it, will always be a tough
one; but it is one we have chosen, and it doesn't mean we can't enjoy
it.
I remember two quotes from university days: the old economist's 'small
is beautiful' and 'whether you think you can or you think you can't,
you're right'!

Speak soon,
Peter

Peter Boyd
CEO
Virgin Mobile South Africa

An apology to Edmund Reddy, and a thank you to Virgin Mobile South Africa

2008-09-16T23:53:00.001+02:00

Hi Edmund...

Thank you very much for meeting me in Sandton this afternoon. It was
really good to connect with you as one human being to another.

I apologise for my incorrect evaluation of your gesture yesterday.
Thanks for letting me know the reality behind it.

I'm blogging this letter at the same time as sending it to you, so I
just want to fill in the blanks for anyone reading this.

The loan phone Edmund secured for me yesterday was in fact a
top-of-the-range new Nokia N81. I mistook it for an old one. Pretty
much because I was seeing things from a warped and negative
perspective.

Edmund has basically made a huge breakthrough in the way customer
service issues in the cellular phone industry might be dealt with in
future. He says that in all his years in the cellphone business, he's
only once seen a network give out a loan phone. And that was
yesterday.

When I sent my dissatisfied email to his boss, the Virgin Mobile CEO,
Peter Boyd, it must have come across really horribly.

Here I was, this whiney chihuahua, who actually took the phone, and
now was claiming incorrectly that it was old and broken. I must have
looked and sounded like a complete petty despot with a crap attitude.

I'm really glad we met today. Edmund was able to fill me in on his
side of things. And I was able to be heard.

If I've understood Edmund correctly, this is what's happening...

o Recently, there was a change in management at the call centre, which
has adversely affected staff performance and morale. This is being
addressed, and should stabilise soon.

o In addition, a new data system is being installed to make it
possible for call centre staff to engage with customers much more
efficiently.

o The staff members who have dealt with me in this situation are being
chatted to.

o Edmund has listened to the tapes, and will quite possibly come to
find them funny once everyone's senses of humour have returned.

From Peter Boyd's comments on two of my blog posts about this, it's
clear that learnings are being applied...

o They're changing the way customer retention will be handled in
future. The company is two years old, and the first renewals are now
happening. So it's a matter of adjusting something that's not working
brilliantly. It seems that I'm not the only person who wants to just
walk into a store and get my upgrade there.

o And they are paying attention to what people are saying.
Particularly the bloggers and social media networkers. So thanks to
everyone who responded on Twitter, Facebook, and my blog.

o The Virgin website is being revamped. (In my twitchiness and
trigger-happy condition, I pounced on the email address as something
to be reviled: notsohappy@virginmobile.com. Actually, it's pretty
funny, and very cheeky. But yeah. Things do need to change. On the UK
website, mobile numbers and email addresses are freely available.)

I feel very relieved that I've been heard. And I'm more than happy at
the outcome of this whole blowup.

I'm typing this email/blog post on the unbearably gorgeous Nokia E71.
It's brand new, out of the box, and is on loan to me until Nokia
releases the N96 later this year. If I weren't so commited to my
multimedia needs, I'd be offering to buy this baby right now. And I'm
tempted, I can assure you.

Edmund Reddy is the guy I have to thank for solving this. He thought
out of the box. And came up with a way of demonstrating that my needs
had been heard.

Peter Boyd is the guy who allows Virgin to be the fast moving
giant-killer I think it is.

And I'm back to my comfortable role as a volunteer Virgin Mobile
evangelist. My bill is between 30% and 50% lower every month than my
Vodacom Talk 500 package was. And I use my phone more now than I used
to.

And the only time I have ever had bad service was in this upgrade process.

And the reasons for that are being dealt with. I'm happy to remain a
Virgin user.

Thank you, Eddie. I'm sorry I misunderstood you. And I'm sorry I
berated you on my blog and to your boss. I was wrong.

Thank you Peter.

Blue skies
Love
Roy

--
------------------------------------------------
ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director

Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of
Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile

Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)

Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Blog: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com

Visual Facilitation: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation
Illustrations: http://snipurl.com/SchmuckGallery
------------------------------------------------

Fwd: Feedback and time to chat/meet

2008-09-15T18:32:00.002+02:00

Hiya Peter...

Sadly, this saga continues. I think it must be pretty tough being in
your shoes right now. Virgin Mobile can't be the easiest place in the
world to run with your people continually dropping the ball.

Eddie phoned this morning, and left a message letting me know that
there were some exciting options he'd like to discuss with me. I was
shooting my promo at the time, so was only able to get back to him
much later.

When I spoke to him, he made the very kind offer of letting me have a
loan N95 until the N96 is released later this year.

That sounded generous and awesome, and I was pretty chuffed about it.
We arranged for me to pop round the Virgin Mobile office later in the
day, and he'd give me the phone.

When I got there, I realised that I didn't know where to park. So
Eddie suggested I just wait outside the building. Which I did. He then
came down and met me at my car. He had a phone and charger with him.

The phone is an N81.

I feel like I was rushed and pressured into taking a phone I have
absolutely no use for. I was in traffic. And there were cars coming
and going. And Eddie even pointed out that I was blocking the exit for
a car. He pretty much shooed me off.

He handed the phone through the window, and pointed out that the phone
was damaged -- scratches on it, and a cracked top-right corner. I
signed the release form. I have to say that in retrospect, I have no
idea why I even allowed it into my car.

I drove away feeling as though I'd just taken part in a Hillbrow drug deal.

Before I even got home, I was emailing Eddie from my current phone,
saying I'm returning the phone tomorrow.

Peter... I don't know what's happening with your company. Either you
sanctioned Eddie's handing me an old, cracked, N81, or you didn't.

If you did, then I don't know what to say to you. Except that this is
not a solution to the shoddy service I've received in this entire
rigmarole.

If you didn't sanction this, then your people are pretty much doing
their best to shut your business down. And I imagine that you're
probably spitting mad right now. I hope so.

My instinct right now is to cut my losses with Virgin Mobile, and just
go elsewhere. But my girlfriend says sense must prevail. You went out
of your way to take control of this situation. You did so on a Sunday.
And I owe you the respect of honouring your intention.

But Peter, this cycle of poor attitude and poor service and corner
cutting has to stop.

I'd also like answers about what happened with Mark Jackson. Why
didn't he contact me over the weekend? Why didn't he call me back to
give me a solution to getting my phone on Friday already? Why did
Na'eem not get back to me? Why did Eddie give me a broken old phone
when he promised me a Nokia N95?

I don't know that I can trust your company. And I'm mystified at how
this nonsense can be happening.

This email to you is also going straight to my blog. My modus operandi
is to work with as much openness as I can.

Thanks
Roy

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Roy Blumenthal royblumenthal@gmail.com
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:33:24 +0030
Subject: Re: Feedback and time to chat/meet
To: Edmund Reddy Edmund.Reddy@virginmobile.co.za

Hi Eddie...

Thanks for the N81. But dude... It's useless to me. I'll be bringing
it back tomorrow morning.

I've got a meeting in Rosebank ending at 10. So if you're in the
office around 10.30, I'll pop round and hand it back.

Eddie... This phone isn't even close to a top of the range Nokia. It's
an old, cracked, last generation phone. No, dude. This leaves a quite
a bad taste. Let's sort this out properly.

If you're going to give me a loan unit, please make it an N95. Or
let's call it all quits. And I'll go to another provider.

Thanks. Roy

On 9/15/08, Edmund Reddy <Edmund.Reddy@virginmobile.co.za> wrote:
>
> Hi Roy,
>
> I have just tried to call you on your mobile, thought I might have some
> luck with getting hold of you. I must really apologize for the
> experience you have encountered whilst trying to get another mobile.
>
> After having a chat with Pete, I can say that we do have some options
> for you regarding the new handset.
>
> Pete has been kind enough to get you a loan unit, most likely one of the
> top handsets in the Nokia range, that you can use in the interim as the
> Nokia N96 will only be available towards the end of this year.
>
> I can however arrange the Nokia N95 and will be more than happy to get
> it to you by close of business today. I certainly do hope that we can
> mend the relationship with you.
>
> Regards,
> Edmund Reddy
> 0116765500
------------------------------------------------
ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director

Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of
Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile

Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)

Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Blog: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com

Visual Facilitation: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation
Illustrations: http://snipurl.com/SchmuckGallery
------------------------------------------------

2008-09-15 Roy Blumenthal & Mandlakazi Mpahlwa -- CNBC AFRICA -- Kaleidoscope

2008-09-15T00:41:00.001+02:00

2008-09-15 Roy Blumenthal & Mandlakazi Mpahlwa -- CNBC AFRICA -- Kaleidoscope, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Mandla is the presenter of Kaleidoscope on CNBC AFRICA. As of the 4th of October, I'll be a 'co-host' on the show. Mandla will do the interviews. And I'll be interpreting the interviews in pictures. Live. In the studio.

This pic forms part of a promo we're creating for the show. We'll be shooting the whole day today (Monday). And I'll zap the finished promo online once the editors have sunk their fangs into the footage.

This pic was made in ArtRage 2.5 on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

The only customer feedback address on Virgin Mobile South Africa is 'notthathappy@virginmobile.co.za' -- lots of unhappy clients?

2008-09-13T13:41:00.001+02:00

Seems as though Virgin Mobile in South Africa knows something about the way their clients perceive them.

The email address for Customer Feedback, as shown on their site, is 'notthathappy@virginmobile.co.za'.

For anyone struggling to see the words, I'll just break them up, making them easy to read...

Not That Happy.

Which is an understatement, really. I'm a lot less than happy. And it seems from the email address and all the Twitter responses that I'm not alone in feeling this.

Virgin UK -- Fwd: Please see my blog post about why Virgin Mobile South Africa is losing my business

2008-09-13T13:23:00.001+02:00

Hiya Simon and Jo...

I've just blogged about some intensely shoddy service I received from Virgin Mobile in South Africa. Someone commenting on the blog post found your details on the UK site. So I thought it would be appropriate for you to know what's being done to your brand here in South Africa.

It mystifies me that the people I've been dealing with have been unable, unwilling, or unmotivated to escalate my trouble up to a level of competence, where it could have been dealt with.

This started out with my girlfriend switching to Virgin thanks to me. We both went in-store to purchase new Nokia N95 handsets. She was able to get one there and then. I was told I had to do the deal with Virgin Mobile Telesales, since I was already a customer. The rule, as it was explained to me, was that I could only buy a phone instore if I were willing to take a new contract, with a new phone number.

Strike one against Virgin Mobile South Africa.

Then I went through the exciting process of ordering a phone via telesales. Creason assured me the phone was on its way. A week later, and I was told that Creason didn't submit the order.

Strike two against Virgin Mobile South Africa.

Yesterday, I had a phone conversation with Mark Jackson, apparently the head of customer complaints. I asked for my phone to be delivered yesterday afternoon by close of play. He promised to get back to me with confirmation of that. And didn't.

Strike three against Virgin Mobile South Africa.

The final straw came with this morning's incompetence with one of the call centre supervisors -- Jacob Lesufi. He steadfastly refused to contact Mark Jackson at my request. And has effectively lost Virgin my business.

The interesting thing about all of this is not the loss of my business. I'm sure I'm a VERY small cog in a very big wheel. My business is surely trivial in the scheme of things. What's interesting is that I have shared my experience on Twitter and Facebook and my blog. And it appears as though Virgin Mobile in South Africa is now finding itself in the centre of a feeding frenzy.

The trouble with characters like Jacob Lesufi and Mark Jackson is that they really have no idea how potentially damaging an interaction can be. In today's networked, connected, instant-chat world, the sphere of influence of one individual is a lot more widespread than one might imagine.

I'm hoping that contacting you will do two things:

1. Prevent Virgin Mobile South Africa from losing my business (though that's VERY doubtful; my mind is pretty much made up -- the treatment I've received is shoddy, to say the very least, and actually infuriating).

2. Give you some insight into what's happening with the Virgin brand here in South Africa. I'm sure you'll want to take steps to prevent this kind of debacle from happening again.

It's telling to me that your names, email addresses and mobile numbers are freely available on your website. Whereas the South African website simply offers a fax number, a generic email address, and the call centre number. Not a good sign.

Thanks for reading this. And I wish you a happy weekend.

(By the way... if this situation is to be resolved, it really has to be done today (Saturday), or tomorrow. I'm not available on Monday, as we're shooting a promo for a weekly continent-wide business television show that I'm co-anchoring as of October 4. The show is called Kaleidoscope, and it's on CNBC AFRICA.)

Blue skies
love
Roy

PS: I haven't even received an automated confirmation email from 'notthathappy@virginmobile.co.za. Shoddy? Yeah. I reckon.

PPS: Enclosed is a screen shot of some of the responses I've received on Twitter.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Roy Blumenthal <royblumenthal@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Sep 13, 2008 at 10:22 AM
Subject: Please see my blog post about why Virgin is losing my business
To: notthathappy@virginmobile.co.za

Hiya Folks...

Please see my blog post about why Virgin is losing my business.

http://schmucknews.blogspot.com/2008/09/virgin-mobile-south-africa-incompetence.html

Three people are primarily responsible for this mess:

Mark Jackson for not keeping his promises.
Jacob Lesufi for refusing to call Mark.
Creason for not placing my original order.

The blog post names and shames your people. And outlines the chronology.

I've had THE most shocking lack of customer service from you guys. It mystifies me. Completely.

I will be ending my relationship with Virgin as soon as I've sorted out a deal with another provider.

Blue skies
love
Roy
--
------------------------------------------------
ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director

Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile

Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)

Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Blog: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com

Visual Facilitation: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation
Illustrations: http://snipurl.com/SchmuckGallery
------------------------------------------------

--
------------------------------------------------
ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director

Professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile

Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)

Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Blog: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com

Visual Facilitation: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation
Illustrations: http://snipurl.com/SchmuckGallery
------------------------------------------------

Virgin Mobile South Africa -- incompetence exemplified

2008-09-13T10:07:00.001+02:00

1. I've been a Virgin Mobile customer for two years. (Was with Vodacom for 12 years prior.)

2. I want a new phone. A Nokia N95, to be precise.

3. Virgin REQUIRES me to purchase my new handset through their call centre, if I want to retain my phone number.

4. So, I order one. From Creason. I go through the whole process, and he says it'll be with me in 5 working days.

5. The days pass. I call to find out where my phone is.

6. Whoops. Creason didn't PLACE the order for some reason.

7. Noone can help me. They can't explain why it happened. They refuse to escalate my problem.

8. Eventually, I'm told that the head of Customer Complaints, Mark Jackson will call me at 8am the next morning (Thursday September 11).

9. Mark Jackson calls me mid-morning of Thursday, while I'm doing a visual facilitation. So I can't take his call.

10. I call back at 1pm, but he's at a function. So I speak to Na'eem.

11. Na'eem apologises for the mess-up, and asks me to speak to Eugene, a sales rep. I tell Na'eem that I want the phone the next day. He says he'll sort it out with the courier company they use, and that they'll expedite the delivery.

12. Eugene processes my NEW order, and tells me that it'll take 5 working days to get the phone to me.

13. I say that Na'eem is arranging to have it expedited. Eugene says that he'll just confirm that, and will get back to me within two minutes.

14. Thirty minutes later, I call back. I ask to speak to Eugene. He's on lunch. I ask to speak to Na'eem.

15. Na'eem apologises, confirms that the order has been placed, confirms that the delivery will be expedited, and assures me that he will call me first thing in the morning on Friday morning to confirm that delivery will take place that day.

16. At 11:30 on Friday 12 Sept, I call Na'eem. Whooops. He's waiting for confirmation from the courier company and will get back to me within half an hour.

17. Na'eem doesn't get back to me within half an hour. I call back. He's not there.

18. I speak to Mark Jackson. Mark tells me that Na'eem has gone on a team building exercise. He apologises for the fact that Na'eem has dropped the ball, and promises to deal with the situation.

19. I tell Mark that I would like to have the phone by close of play that day, as promised. He tells me that it's in the hands of the courier company, and that he'll follow up with them, and come back to me before close of play on Friday with confirmation from them that I'll have my phone. He promises to follow it up on Monday if he can't get it sorted on Friday.

20. I say that Monday is too late, and that I'll be terminating my dealings with Virgin if he can't sort something out. He understands, and reiterates that he'll call me back on Friday afternoon with an answer.

21. Mark Jackson doesn't call me back. He's dropped the ball.

22. Saturday morning, 8:50am, I phone the call centre. I speak to Zizi. She's not authorised to make a decision. So she puts me through to Jacob Lesufi, her supervisor at the call centre.

23. I ask Jacob if he's in a position to make a decision about how to retain me as a customer. He asks me for details of my question before he can answer. Good call on his part. I explain the situation to him. I say this: 'Jacob, the only way Virgin can retain my business is for me to have a Nokia N95 in my hands by 12 noon today. I don't mind going to the Sandton store to pick it up. Can you make a decision to make this happen?'

24. Jacob loses the plot completely. He starts explaining to me that the courier has the phone, that he can't do anything about it, that I'll have to wait till Monday.

25. I tell him that he doesn't need to explain anything to me. That he just needs to put me through to someone who CAN make it happen.

26. He tells me that there's noone in the office today, that it's a Saturday, that he's the most senior person there, that I'll have to wait till Monday.

27. I ask him who his boss is. It's Mark Jackson. I ask him to put me on hold, phone Mark Jackson, and patch me through to Mark.

28. He tells me it's impossible to do. I ask him why. He tells me it's because I refuse to listen to him. And I eventually give him a count of ten to put me on hold. Which he doesn't do. I end the call.

29. I phone the call centre again. And I speak to a call centre operative with a garbled name. I say, 'Please can you call Mark Jackson on his cellphone, and ask him to call me back within ten minutes.' She says, 'Who is Mark Jackson? Does he work here?' I say, 'He's your boss.' She says, 'Oh. Mark Jackson.' She agrees to give him my message. I say, 'It's now 9:11. Please ask Mark to call me back by 9:21.'

30. At 9:30, I call the call centre. My call is dropped three times in a row.

31. I get through on the fourth attempt. It's Zizi on the other end of the line. I ask her if Mark Jackson has been given my message. 'No,' she says, 'Jacob decided not to phone him.' I say, 'Well then Jacob is responsible for Virgin losing my business if I don't get my phone in my hands by 12 noon today.' She says, 'No, he's not responsible--' I say, 'That's fine. I'm blogging about this as we speak. And it's all going online. Please do the following... put me on hold, and have a discussion amongst yourselves... and all you have to do is decide whether or not you will phone Mark Jackson and let him have my message. That's all you have to do. So... put me on hold, have your discussion, make your decision, and come back to me with your answer. I'll wait.'

32. I'm on hold for ten minutes.

33. Zizi comes back to me. 'Thank you for your patience. Mark says he will be phoning you back.'

34. I say, 'When will Mark phone me back?'

35. Zizi says, 'I can't give you a time frame.' I say, 'It's now 9:40am. Please ask Mark to phone me back by 10.' She says, 'I can't give you a timeframe.' I say, 'Zizi, you don't have to give me a timeframe. I'm asking you to give Mark MY timeframe. Please ask Mark to call me back by 10.' She says, 'Okay. I'll give him that message.'

36. It's now 10am. No word from Mark Jackson. I wonder if he thought I meant 10 tonight?

VIDEO: Keith Wilmot Coca-Cola -- Roy Testimonial

2008-09-12T18:21:00.001+02:00

VIDEO: Keith Wilmot Coca-Cola -- Roy Testimonial
Originally uploaded by royblumenthal

Yesterday I did a second visual facilitation session for Coca-Cola.

Hosting the sessions was Keith Wilmot, the Global Director: Insights, Ideas, & Creativity, The Coca-Cola Company.

He and his team (John and Enzo) were impressed with what I contributed to the sessions.

And Keith gave me an audio testimonial which I recorded on my cellphone.

I made a sketch of him. Coloured it in ArtRage. Popped it into CrazyTalk. And with a whole bunch of intermediary programmes, I got the audio from my phone into the animation tool.

I exported the animation with a green-screen background.

This allowed me to create captions in Photoshop CS3, and pull them into my editing package...

Adobe Premiere Pro was the tool I used to pull everything together.

Creating this little 20-second testimonial video took about a day's worth of work.

Work that I believe is fully justified. Cos it's given me the workflow to be able to make animated video testimonials of all of my visual facilitations.

I hope you enjoy it.

2008-09-11 Zuma Assumes the Position

2008-09-11T22:54:00.001+02:00

2008-09-11 Zuma Assumes the Position, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Sometime during the course of Friday the 12th of September 2008, Jacob Zuma will learn his fate.

Along with him, South Africa will also learn its fate.

If Zuma has his corruption charges dropped (like his trousers), he will become the next South African president, and the next African despot.

If he faces trial, South Africa gets a brief reprieve from certain calamity. It's brief because the man might still somehow evade justice on some or other technicalities.

This cartoon is based on an idea tweeted to me by Gustav, a Twitter bud. I'm not mentioning his surname, cos his version was a lot less inflammatory. And I simply don't want HIM getting killed by mad Zuma supporters thanks to MY crazy over-the-topness.

The other influence for this cartoon comes from the recent Zapiro editorial cartoon in the Sunday Times in which he shows Zuma getting ready to rape Justice as she is held down by four of his cronies in the ANC and SACP.

Zapiro took some serious heat for that cartoon. I'll take almost no heat, cos I simply don't have the same viewership as he does. Still... I hope this causes at least a slight tremor.

This pic started off as a sketch in my Moleskine notebook, after I interpreted Gustav's Tweeted suggestion. I then scanned it, and brought it into ArtRage 2.5. I coloured and manipulated the pic slightly. All on my overheating Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

We Have to Walk Our Talk to be Unleashed

2008-09-01T19:11:00.001+02:00

Unleashed, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Boniface showed us a Covey video from THE EIGHTH HABIT. In it, there's a dude called Max. And a dog called Max. The video concludes by showing the parallels between Max the dog and Max the dude.

Made in realtime during a workshop on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc using ArtRage 2.5.

How to Go About Getting into Visual Facilitation

2008-08-29T20:21:00.002+02:00

An ArtRage forum member sent me a message asking me how she could get into doing visual facilitation for a living. I figure my answer to her might be worth sharing. And maybe we can have some dialogue about my thoughts that might open it up and make it a bigger topic for us all.

Here's the main part of my letter to her (with pleasantries removed)...

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Good to hear that there's another person interested in doing this! It's an absolutely awesome rush to do!

Okay... Fundamentals...

1. Are you well-read, well-versed in non-fiction, specifically business stuff, psychology, marketing? You'll need to pump up your knowledge in these fields.

2. Are you able to concentrate fiercely well for long stretches, listening ardently to new information, synthesising patterns from it, picking out fascinating details pertinent to the greater whole?

3. Can you multi-task? REALLY multi-task? When you're doing a visual facilitation, you're doing lots of things at once. I've described it to someone as 'flying a helicopter while holding two simultaneous, in-depth conversations'. I think I might revise that description and add a second helicopter to the mix.

4. How do you prefer to work -- traditional media or digital? This is a far-reaching fundamental choice. Sounds from your skill-set that you're digitally comfortable.

You haven't mentioned whether you use a tablet pc (or Wacom Cintiq), or if you're using a Wacom tablet?

Tablet PC is my preferred route. There are currently three machines in South Africa that I can recommend... Toshiba Portege M700, Asus R1E, Fujitsu T5010.

Portability of your setup is of paramount importance. Heading out to some remote conference centre should not induce muscle strain or back pain.

Working on traditional media limits what you can offer to your client. Most of the visual facilitators around the world use traditional media. I so so so don't recommend it. No edge. No instant distribution. However, if you MUST do it that way, go for it.

5. Are you willing to expose yourself to a roomful of people by making art live, before their very eyes?

I assure you, you are totally naked when your stuff is appearing live, in real time, on a huge screen next to the speaker's screen. They're watching your every move.

If you have ANY fear of public humiliation, you're going to find visual facilitation pretty hardcore.

If you're comfortable to do some really nice work on the odd occasion, with mostly clodhopper ATTEMPTS at brilliance most of the time, with people watching you frown as you hit the eraser button on ArtRage, then you'll thrive. It helps if you're an exhibitionistic showoff with immense amounts of self-confidence.

6. Are you happy to spend a lot of time doing free gigs for high profile audiences in order to establish a name for yourself? Do you have the chutzpah to inveigle yourself into events as 'the visual facilitator', even though you weren't invited, they've never heard of you, and you don't wanna pay the entrance fee? Do you have the ability to earn an income elsewhere to allow you to take a year to build this up into a business? Are you willing to learn and adapt what you're offering based on the gigs you do?

7. Do you have a winning, magnetic, persuasive personality?

8. Do you have the ability to look someone in the eye and say without shame or embarrassment or hesitation, 'I charge R12 500 per day for what I do.'? If you're blushing at the thought, convert that blush into a warm, fuzzy, delicious feeling of anticipated joy and liberation.

9. Are you comfortable with technology as a means of disseminating information about yourself? I use Twitter as my main communication tool in the world. I've been a blogger for about 6 years. I've had a website since the internet came to South Africa. I use Flickr as my primary portfolio tool. And so on.

Regarding the actual 'How' of your question, I recommend just sitting in on some event or other, and pushing yourself into doing a live visual facilitation without screening your work or standing out from the crowd in any way. Just draw what you hear. Get a feeling for how much work you need to do to be on top of things. Do more of these.

---------------------------------------

Do you have anything to add? Disagree with anything? Can you enhance anything?

I'm a visual facilitator. You can see some of my work online at http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation. And my profile as a professional member of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa is at http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile.

Animated Roy Talking About Visual Facilitation

2008-08-16T06:05:00.001+02:00

Wow on two counts!

1. CrazyTalk 5.1 allowed me to make this animation from a drawing. And it took less than 5 minutes to do. I'm blown away by that!

2. YouTube has introduced a new feature -- video annotations. The little speech bubble containing the link to my visual facilitation portfolio -- http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation -- is one of those. Astounding.

'I believe I can fly!' -- starring Jacob 'Laduma' Zuma

2008-08-14T14:08:00.002+02:00

Here's my latest little bit of messing around in CrazyTalk 5.1. This is a pic I made of Jacob 'Laduma' Zuma back when controversy hit him really hard. (Please don't confuse him with Zu-Ma Se Poes. Different politician.)

I'm experimenting with some ideas that Conrad Koch and I have been discussing. This is one of those experiments.

2008-08-13 Randburg Court 22 -- I am the law

2008-08-13T17:33:00.001+02:00

2008-08-13 Randburg Court 22 -- I am the law, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Oh yes. The magistrate in yesterday's court is INDEED 'the law'. What he says, goes.

When he said to Bill's lawyer, 'I'll make the decisions here,' he meant it.

And what he probably meant was, 'Don't come in here with your juvenile attempts at bullying me or your ex-wife or anyone else. I've been hearing cases of abuse in the Domestic Violence Court 22 for longer than I care to think about. And I know EVERY trick. And you guys are amateurs. Bill -- the FACT that you're a lawyer, the FACT that you BROUGHT a lawyer with you, the FACT that you act all obsequious in my court while your ex-wife stands proud and states the facts -- THESE facts mean YOU are NOT the LAW.'

He served the protection order with no revisions. And also pre-issued a ready-signed warrant for the arrest of Bill Morris for any transgressions of the many clauses in the protection order.

Neat, huh?

This pic was drawn in court in my Moleskine while Jennifer was at the stand. I then scanned the pic, brought it into Photoshop CS3, where I added captions and colour. On my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

Randburg Court 22 -- Magistrate says, 'You're protected.'

2008-08-13T13:21:00.001+02:00

Randburg Court 22 -- Magistrate says, 'You're protected.', originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Thanks, Magistrate!

Jennifer and I went to the Randburg Magistrate's Court yesterday. Court 22, to be precise. The court dealing with domestic violence.

Our buddy, Big Bad Ed, joined us. He knows the inside of a courtroom. 'I hate these places,' he said. 'I've been in them way too often.'

Ed tells us an anecdote about a judge who once said to him, 'You're a one-man crime-wave.'

Ed replied, 'Thanks, your honour.'

And the judge responded, 'It wasn't a compliment.'

Ed was with us because we decided to manage the situation. Her ex-husband, Bill Morris, was expected to turn up to contest the protection order Jennifer was having finalised by the court.

According to the affidavits on public record in the court yesterday, William 'Bill' Morris was a wife beater who pressed his wife against the wall, then hacked the wall with an axe just inches next to her head. Amongst other things.

The magistrate heard Bill's smarmy and incompetent lawyer, Bradley Brazington saying things like, 'If it pleases the court, your worship, my client would like to set aside this order.'

To which the magistrate replied, 'Does your client need to come to the complainant's residence or place of work for any reason?'

To which Bradley Brazington Esq said, 'Uh... no... uh... your worship.'

And so, the protection order was finalised. With Bill Morris turning a deep red at the incompetence of his lawyer, and the idiocy of his own game plan ringing in his ears.

For godsake... the bloke arrived with his lawyer's satchel! Bill, not his lawyer... Bill himself brought the satchel.

What was he thinking? 'I'm a lawyer! If I bring my lawyer's satchel, it'll impress the magistrate, and he'll let me off! I'm a member of the legal profession! We stick together!' Is that what he thought???

Sheesh. What a misguided loser.

Anyway.

The protection order was served. And we now have a pre-issued warrant for William Morris's arrest, should he dare break any of the terms of the order.

And of course, Big Bad Ed is always waiting in the wings.

Using CrazyTalk 5.1 to Make a Talking Animated Self Portrait

2008-08-12T22:53:00.004+02:00

Unbelievable.

I made a quick self portrait in ArtRage to test out my newly purchased piece of software -- CrazyTalk 5.1.

Opened CrazyTalk.
Imported the painting.
Placed the Mouth, Eyes, and Nose points.
Masked out the background with a single click.
Recorded a voice track.
Chose an emotion.
Published.

The entire process took less than five minutes. And the little 30 second vid below is just the tip of the iceberg. There's so much more I can do with the software.

Suffice to say that I'll be finding a way to incorporate this into my visual facilitation practice.

The little speech bubble containing the link to my visual facilitation portfolio online is something new to YouTube -- video annotations. You can place them wherever you want in a video. Also amazing. Very useful. Makes YouTube a very good teaching tool.

An apology for giving offence to the 27 Dinners dudes -- specially to Mike Stopforth

2008-08-05T11:37:00.001+02:00

Yo Mike (and everyone who creates 27 Dinners)...

I apologize for making my comments on Monday night's 27 Dinner at Primi Piatti sound smug and blunt and horrid. They really weren't meant to be that, and they weren't meant to be an attack.

In my head, as I was writing, I thought I was being witty, provocative, informative, constructive. Reading back, I actually sound like a frothing dick. Hopefully I'm no syphilitic Mugabe.

I saw Vince's post, saw the comments there, saw that people were offering feedback, and saw that the feedback was being received. So I wanted to add to the pot.

As you know, I'm a big supporter of the spreading of knowledge for free. Everything I write and draw that's not under a commercial contract is open source. So for me, 27 Dinners is an awesome initiative.

My comments probably come from a primal part of my brainstem. I've encountered really bad presentations all through my business life. Even the MOST creative ad agencies and communication houses LOVE 'death-by-powerpoint'. And it frustrates me that so many people continue to embrace poor visual communication.

It's always reallllllllllllllly tricky for me to put my neck on the block by offering critical feedback of events. My income derives from the very people I'm being critical of. And I know nobody likes to come across as sucky. And I know that sucky is a completely personal judgement call.

When you mentioned my makeshift 'screen', at first I was jolted in a negative way. I thought, 'Sheesh! I was doing my best!' About one second later, I thought, 'Fuckit. Mike was also doing his best. And everyone at the 27 Dinner also did their best. Including the drunk American.' And then, about nine seconds later, I thought, 'Mike's right. I'm putting myself out there as a professional visual facilitator. And I didn't even bring my own screen. Shoddy, Roy, shoddy.'

The only reason I didn't buy the same screen you have from Makro on Sunday is that I found it won't fit in my car (I'm in a Mazda MX5, and I need something a bit more portable to get in there along with my other equipment).

So I'm on the hunt right now for something that folds up, rather than something that rolls up. What I'm primarily visualising is one of those round screens, much like the sun guard you get for cars. You know the kind of thing... a metal rim that kinda bends into a small, flat disk, with the screen folded into it. Any ideas where to find such a thing?

So to everyone who I probably offended, I apologize for the offence.

At the same time, I do believe that we can all up our game. More than that... we MUST up our game. Myself included.

Blue skies
love
Roy

27 Dinners Jozi -- How Can Speakers Be More Engaging, Audiences Better Behaved, and Everybody Happier?

2008-08-03T22:41:00.005+02:00

This is a slightly edited version of a comment I've left on a blogpost on MORALFIBRE: http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=262#comment-19

In the post, Vince talks about his experience of the last 27 DINNERS (http://27dinner.com/) evening, at which I did the visual facilitation and live-blogging. Several people have responded in the comments to some of the less-than-desirable elements of the evening. (Luckily, my visual facilitation seems to have been well-received. Phshew!)

The stuff I'm talking about below pretty much all comes from my own experience as a speaker, standup poetry performer, street performer, salesperson, and corporate communications practitioner. I know that some of what I have to say might seem a little blunt, and possibly a tad harsh, and might make me a bit unpopular. At the same time, this stuff does need to be said.
Roy Blumenthal, the visual facilitator here.

THE IRRITATING AMERICAN

If I'm not mistaken, the 'irritating American' was Brian Carl Brown, Chief Operating Officer of http://www.bluecatalyst.co.za/. Are we talking about the guy who spoke about the golf day that noone wanted to attend??? If so, then yeah... Brian Carl Brown's yer man.

His colleague came up to me while I was wrapping up my drawing and live-blogging of the event, and proposed that Blue Catalyst and I might do some business together. I thought it would be a good idea. And we agreed to have talks about talks.

Shortly after the chat, Brian cannon-balled up to me, and announced, 'I think my colleague might not have gotten the point across. We're an NGO, and we don't have big budgets for our events, which are free.' Blah blah blah, poverty, blah blah, etcetera. 'So actually, we can't afford to pay you R8500 for a half-day's visual facilitation, or R12500 for a full-day. We haven't got money to pay you for the freebies. But if you do those, we might be able to get you some paying gigs. You get my drift?'

At that point, I was no longer listening. I work for a living. And the guy's attitude was actually pretty sucky. (But I think the presence of alcohol at events like this is a MAJOR contributor to the crapheadedness of some of the people present.)

KATE ELPHICK'S TALK

Kate... You really really really really need to take a look at Garr Reynolds's site, PRESENTATION ZEN. Seriously. http://presentationzen.com/.

One concept.
One slide.
One picture.
No words, or VERY few words. Three or four words max.
Your slide is a billboard for an idea.

It's not an academic treatise to be read and mulled over.

A presentation is real-time.

It gives people the argument, supported by the facts.

Your presentation was very dense, and difficult to follow, for me.

I was also pretty alarmed at what I assume MUST have been my mishearing a stat your quoted. I THINK you said that the average black South African attends two funerals a week. If that's the case, I REALLY have to see your sources. And you really need to quote those sources. And you need to qualify what that stat actually means. I'm surrounded by some fairly average black South Africans, and, anecdotally evidenced, they absolutely DO NOT attend even two funerals a MONTH. let alone a week.

Re the cultural bias of the audience... hmmmm.... nope. GONG. That's spurious. Your presentation needs to be targeted at the people you're talking to. So if you're talking to an audience of whitey business people, you'd best find the argument that speaks to those people. Show the business-types video footage of the amazing response you're claiming your black audiences give you. Deliver on your premise.

I support Vince's reading of your argument. I feel you're making several untested and unsupported assumptions, and you're really not making that argument 'come to life'. (Yeah... pun intended.)

JASON HOBBS AND INTERFACE DESIGN

I like Jason. I know him in the real world. But I don't think his preso cut it.

It started promisingly, with some really cool, simple, single-minded, focused slides, that we pretty much pictures illustrating a single point he was making. From around his third slide, the discipline disappeared. And he fell into the trap of cramming way too much stuff onto the slide, with almost NO logic to how things connected.

A presenter must NEVER have to apologise for the contents of their presentation being unreadable. Dammit. Those slides that he kept apologising for would have been unreadable in a pitch-black room on a high definition television screen. If you can't read your own slide on your computer screen, how the hell are we going to see it on a pasty big screen?

Jason also fell into the trap of telling us WAY too much about his topic. He brain-dumped his knowledge on us. And used ultra-lame examples to ground it. Google and iPhone are NOT great examples of UI. They are great examples of very specific points about UI.

Hone it down, dude. Choose ONE topic, and tell us about that.

CHARL NORMAN, BLUEWORLD (http://www.blueworld.co.za/)

Charl has stated in tweets and elsewhere that he felt his presentation was weak.

I think he's probably being a tad hard on himself. For me, his talk was passionate, engaging, real, and grounded. I felt that he was sharing his thoughts with me as a conversation partner. He wasn't brain-dumping. He wasn't spewing facts and figures. He wasn't making unsupported arguments.

What he WAS doing was putting his expertise and experience on the table, and inviting others to share in his interpretation of his own successes.

Case study stuff.

Very nicely done.

MICROPHONE TECHNIQUE

One thing ALL of the presenters can learn about is microphone technique.

Here are the rules:

1. ALWAYS do a sound check. ALWAYS. Do NOT simply grab the mic and try to be audible. Every mic requires a specific approach to getting the best sound out of it. Did anyone else feel their ears disintegrating at the plosive 'p' sounds cranking out at full volume? That's avoidable. And easy to deal with.

2. NEVER tell an audience that you don't like using microphones. CHARL! We're there to HEAR you. Make it a JOY for us. We're not interested in your discomfort. And we're not interested in excuses. You HAVE something valuable to say. So embrace the platform, and do it.

3. Most microphones can be dealt with in one of two ways. EITHER put the mic in your hand with your fingers curled up just below the ball of the mic. Then extend your thumb out, and place it on your chin. This puts the mic directly in front of your bottom lip, an inch or so away from the pop-cap. MOST mics work best like this. Keeping your thumb extended in this way keeps the mic in position, and reminds you that you're talking to an audience who are hanging on your every word.

OR, put the mic ON your cheek, touching the corner of your mouth. Yes... that part of your mouth that gets little white spit flecks when you get old. Angle it slightly towards your lips, and keep it pressed to your skin. This only works for some mics. But when it works, it completely removes plosive pops.

4. PROJECT, people. Just cos you've got a mic doesn't mean you can talk like someone with emphysema. Projecting comes from working your diaphragm. Go for voice lessons if you can't get your voice to carry to the other end of a boardroom. And speak into the microphone with booming clarity, enunciation, and conviction.

THE NOISY CROWDS AND DRUNK ASSHOLES

Mike... this is directed towards you as the Joburg dude.

The organiser of an event needs to control the event. You must not be embarrassed to tell obnoxious winos to shut the fuck up. It's NOT acceptable for speakers to be whooped at. It's not acceptable for drunk Americans to hog the mic for a golf-day that geeks aren't interested in. It's not acceptable for a venue to allow a rowdie party upstairs to noise-out a gig. It's the organiser's duty to deal with these things. Throw people out if you have to. Call a halt to proceedings until things are sorted.

Speakers... YOU have a duty to pause in your talk if the conditions make it impossible to be heard. BUT... you also have a duty to make sure that your talk is fascinating and captivating. SOMETIMES people fidget and chat because the content and/or delivery of your talk is crap. Face this as a fact. Of course, sometimes, it's just the presence of a loud-mouthed drunkard overpowering an otherwise appreciative audience. Don't get so caught up in trying to deliver your message that you fail to see what's happening.

Desperation in a speaker is contagious. And becomes disastrous quite quickly. Learn how to deal with interruptions. Read up on heckling, and how standup comics deal with it. If you don't, you're letting yourself down. More importantly, you're letting your audience down.

STORMHOEK

Ban alcohol at business networking events.

Seriously.

The number of puke-smelling breaths that blasted into my face as people leered over my shoulder into my tablet-pc all merges into a nightmare swamp of inebriated dumbfuckery.

I have nothing against people getting plastered on their own terms, in their own environment. But when they're attending a geek dinner, aimed at helping them expand their circle of acquaintances, I'd really ask them to question their methods if those methods include quaffing industrial quantities of free wine.

What's the deal? Are they so poor they can't afford their OWN wine? Are they so low on self-esteem that the only way they can derive enough bravery to speak to another person is if they're falling down with pissedness?

Ask yourself this: If YOU were blasting YOUR wine-fumes (vomit-smell, by the way) into someone's face, would you expect them to take you seriously as a business contact? If so... drink away. But stay away from me. If not... then decline the refill of the Stormhoek blogging sensation.

27 DINNERS (http://27dinner.com/)

I wonder if the zero-pricing of the event isn't building in an ethos of 'I'm here for myself only, and there are no consequences to me acting like an ass-wad, and I'd love to guzzle eight litres of free Stormhoek plonk, and I'll make a noise if I wanna, and I'll grab the mic when I can'?

Maybe if people were paying for the event, they'd take the speakers more seriously?

What if people were able to get a sliding scale refund based on the crapness of the speakers?

If all three speakers are collectively voted as crap by the audience, then they get a full refund.

And speakers get a cut of the proceedings, so that they are incentivised to deliver great material. (They can give those proceedings to a charity, if they're not in it for the bucks.)

I've been to two 27 Dinners now. Jon Foster Pedley's was the first, and he had the discipline of using Pecha Kucha (http://www.pecha-kucha.org/) as the basis of his preso. And that made it work really powerfully for the audience. This past one also worked for me, but only cos I was working overtime at trying to pull out salient bits in my visual facilitation. I think if I'd been a member of the audience, the only talk I would have paid attention to would have been Charl Norman's. The other two were simply not gripping enough, and not polished enough, and didn't contain enough of an argument to be compelling.

You can take a look at my live-blog of the evening here: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com/2008/07/live-visual-facilitation-coverage-of-27.html
My visual facilitation portfolio is on my Flickr gallery at: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation
My profile as a Professional member of PSASA, the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa is at: http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile

Live Visual Facilitation Coverage of the 27 Dinners Jozi Chat -- Mon 28 July 2008

2008-07-28T16:08:00.005+02:00

If you're one of the people who can't make it to 27 Dinners tonight, I'll be doing a live visual facilitation of the event, along with live-blogging of the pics I make.

If anyone wants to write commentary, please contact me on http://twitter.com/royblumenthal or royblumenthal@gmail.com, and I'll add you as a producer on my CoverItLive console. (You need to be running Firefox 2.* or Internet Explorer for the console to work on your machine.)

This live blog is my first public run using CoverItLive. So please join in and leave comments. It'll be great to hear from you.

If you'd like to hire me to cover any of your events, I'd be happy to chat about what I can offer.

You can take a look at my profile as a Professional member of PSASA, the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa. It's at http://snipurl.com/psasa-profile.

My online portfolio is at: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation.

2008-07-23 Power -- Use It, Don't Use It -- Low Res

2008-07-28T10:33:00.001+02:00

2008-07-23 Power -- Use It, Don't Use It -- Low Res, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

This pic and writeup is the second of my 'Roy's Quick Draw' cartoons to appear on Mandy de Waal's 'MoneyWebLife' feature. Here's the link: www.moneyweb.co.za/mw/view/mw/en/page215461?oid=217092&am...

Roy’s Quick Power Draw

Everyone - male and female - believes somewhere deep down that they're powerful.
Roy Blumenthal
27 Jul 2008

Everyone -- male and female -- believes somewhere deep down that they're powerful. Potent. Able to seize control of any and all situations. Even those people who believe they're powerless harbour secret yearnings to somehow release their inner potentate.

At the same time, the truly powerful people in the world are in their positions by choice. Yup... power is a choice. You make the choice, you're powerful. All you have to do is tap into your internal power source. Do you think Bill Gates and Donald Trump and Richard Branson and Jacob Zuma became powerful by accident? Nah... they voomed into their voltage sources.

What this means in the world of power is that every moment of the lives of the powerful is a tussle of choices. When one is powerful, there are many options to choose from. Do you choose right? Wrong? Left? Green? Do you kill? Do you fiddle the books? Do you go home to your spouse an innocent?

I chose to depict the struggle the powerful and impotent have by showing the inner he-man. (If you're a gal, just imagine the dude with breasts, and pretend she's hot.) I mean, heck, my girlfriend reckons I look as hot as this muscled hunk. It's just that it's hidden to most people under Tim Tam padding.

On the dude's bicep, there's a plug socket. And he's holding a power-screwdriver in one hand. And a pretty big screw in the other. The power cord lies inert over his arm. Will he plug into his power stream and drive that screw home? Will he screw or be screwed? He chooses.

Ultimately, the CHOICE itself is the power.

I painted this cartoon entirely in ArtRage2.5 with a quick visit to PhotoshopCS3 to pop 'Roy's Quick Draw' in place. All on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

2008-07-27 Follow Your Nose

2008-07-27T21:52:00.002+02:00

2008-07-27 Follow Your Nose, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

This pic started out as a sketch in my Moleskine.

I used it to test coveritlive.com as a means of live-blogging my visual facilitation sessions.

If you'd like to take a look at my step-by-step breakdown of colouring sketches in ArtRage, please head to: schmucknews.blogspot.com/2008/07/roy-colouring-sketch-usi.... Click on the 'replay' button, and you'll see screengrabs outlining the process.

There are several great things about CoverItLive.

1. It's free. Completely.
2. It's live. Realtime. What I live-blog is INSTANTLY seen by viewers.
3. It's at MY location. It uses embed code to place it into any blog or webpage of my choice.
4. I get live commenting from people viewing the session.
5. I control all of the media that gets published to the live-blog. So if there are any disruptive wise-asses, I can just ban them.

My main need in a live-blogging tool is that I need to be able to make it a private or public post. And CoverItLive makes that possible.

This pic started off as a Bic Gel Roller sketch in my Moleskine. It was then scanned. And coloured in ArtRage 2.5, live, on the internet, with viewers. It's a new world.

Roy Colouring a Sketch -- Using CoverItLive.com to Live Blog the Process

2008-07-27T13:51:00.002+02:00

Possible Logo Design for FlyingSolo SA Unconference

2008-07-27T00:34:00.002+02:00

Possible Logo Design for FlyingSolo SA Unconference, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

In the FlyingSolo SA wiki, Jo Duxberry, one of the organisers, mentioned that they wanted someone to volunteer a design for the logo.

I couldn't really see anything wrong with the design, but the resolution was a bit skanky.

So I figured I'd simply do a remake in my style.

This is the result.

The unconference in question is a forum for freelancers (otherwise known as soloists) to gather and swap business-tips with one another in a somewhat structured environment.

I've started discussions with one of the organisers to be the visual facilitator for the Joburg event. So if you don't see me there as a delegate, you might very well get to see me in action making live paintings of the ideas under discussion.

Put your name on the waiting list for the next one, which is coming up in Joburg on September 13 2008.

The wiki is at: http://flyingsolosa.pbwiki.com/

I've signed up on the Flying Solo social networking site. If you're a freelancer, join in. My profile is at: http://flyingsolosa.ning.com/profile/RoyBlumenthal

This painting was made on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc in ArtRage 2.5, with a tiny bit of contrast-enhancement done in Photoshop CS3.

My 'Questioning Phoenix' tattoo

2008-07-21T21:59:00.003+02:00

Roy's finished 'Questioning Phoenix' tattoo, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Here's the answer...

Nope. This didn't hurt much at all.

It was more of a sort of vibrating vague sting, that numbed out after about ten mintes.

The tatt is Marcus van der Tuin's interpretation of my interpretation of an illustration I saw on one of Roger von Oech's Creative Whack Pack.

To anyone who hasn't noticed the subtlety, the positive space (the red and black) forms a schematic phoenix looking to the left, with wings raised. The negative space forms a strong question mark.

When the colours settle, this will be a very painterly piece of skin. It's not discernible now, but everything is blended and shaded and graded. I'll post a pic in a week or so, when it's looking more like it ought to.

In the meantime, if you're in Cape Town (cos that's where Marcus is based -- he was in Joburg as a guest of Missing Link for two weeks, doing tattoos for their friends, staff, and clients), book yourself a session or two with Marcus.

He really knows what he's doing, and comes from the advertising and design worlds. He really knows his aesthetics, and he's absolutely awesome at shading. I'm going to ask D'ave at Missing Link to zap me a pic of his tatt, done by Marcus. It WILL blow your mind. It's astonishingly good!

Contact Marcus at his studio. He's at METAL MACHINE, 49 Shortmarket Street, Cape Town, South Africa.

Phone +27 21 423 0688.

Thanks to Missing Link for my new tatt. You guys cook! And thanks to Marcus for the beautiful interpretation.

If you're interested in seeing the series of videos I streamed live to the internet from my Nokia N91, here they are...

Questioning Phoenix
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

- Camera phone upload powered by ShoZu

MoneywebLife -- Roy's Quick Draw -- I wonder how the wealthy live?

2008-07-19T22:36:00.003+02:00

MoneywebLife -- Roy's Quick Draw -- I wonder how the wealthy live?, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Mandy de Waal asked me if I'd like to do a post in her new feature on Moneyweb. The feature's called 'MoneywebLife', and you can find my contribution at 'Roy's Quick Draw'.

I'd love it very much indeed if you would head to the page and leave a few comments. I'm going to be a regular contributor to the site, and your comments will help keep my pic in the public eye. Thanks in advance!

I told Mandy I'd be delighted. She sent me the deadline details. And the topic -- wealth.

I got snowed under with work at Blue Moon. I'm finishing off a six-month stint there on contract as a creative directore. So I'm tying everything up.

As a consequence, I kinda took my eye of Mandy's ball. I sent her a message via Twitter, saying, 'When's my deadline for the pic?'

She sent me a respnse saying, 'Noon today.'

So I took a pic I'd made previously, and crafted a new caption. And lettered up the title of the column -- 'Roy's Quick Draw'. And sent it to her.

She sent me a tweet saying, 'Laughed out loud!'

Classroom Innovations by Roy and Jennifer -- Wherever I Lay My Mat's My Home

2008-07-15T23:08:00.000+02:00

The idea behind this classroom idea is for you to buy a whole bunch of 1-metre long sections of yoga mat material. Allocate one per child in your classroom, and let each person mark their's individually. The mat belongs to that person only.

Now... give permission to your learners to use their mat as they see fit. There's no need to use the desk if they choose not to.

The rules of the mat are this:

The mat belongs to a person.
It demarcates private territory.
Nobody may touch the mat or anything on the mat while it's on the floor.
Schoolwork or games or puzzles or any other activity may take place on the mat. Including meditations and timeouts.
At the end of the school day, no mats may be lying on the floor. They must be rolled up and stowed in a suitable storage space.

The mat creates a real boundary for each child. It teaches the value of boundaries. And it also creates a sense of privacy in a busy, chaotic world.

Feel free to use this idea in your classroom. And your comments are welcome. Maybe you've got a refinement to the idea? A different way of achieving the same goal? Jennifer and I are creating a book of these ideas, and we'd love your input. Thanks!

This painting started off as a pen sketch in Roy's Moleskine notebook, following a chat with Jennifer. Roy then scanned the pic, manipulated it a little to get the layout to his satisfaction, and then coloured it in Photoshop CS3. All on his trusty Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

Randburg Court 22 -- Domestic Violence

2008-07-14T23:00:00.002+02:00

Randburg Court 22 -- Domestic Violence, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Jen and I spent the entire morning in this courtroom. We were there to finalize a restraining order against her wifebeating ex-husband...

The magistrate arrives in court at 10am. The paperwork instructed us to be there at 8.30am.

The first case is instantly dismissed. Jennifer's is the second on the roster. The first words out of His Worship's lips are, 'Where is your return of service?'

Turns out that the Wierdabrug Police hadn't actually served the interim protection order on the prick. So he's out and about, still in possession of the gun he threatened Jennifer and her family with.

This lack of 'return of service' makes it necessary for us to get copies of the interim order, to get it served.

We stand in a queue at the office of the Clerk of the Court. When we get to the front, the lady says, 'I'd love to help you, but our photocopying machine has run out of paper.'

Jen looks dejected, so the lady says, 'Come with me.'

So we hop into the elevator with her. Down to the ground floor. (Her office is only one floor up, the top floor of the building. It takes longer to walk to the elevator than it would to go up and down the stairs.) But hey. She's making things happen for us. So no complaints, really.

We get to an office with a huge behemoth of a modern photocopier in it. You know that type... touchscreen, automatic stapling collator, eight different paper trays. This thing might be capable of printing books-on-demand for all I know. 'We've run out of paper upstairs,' says the lady. 'Can I have a few sheets of yours?'

'No,' says the sullen woman in the office. She's got a friend visiting her. They're both sitting huddled over a small fan-heater in the middle of the room. There are TWO other heaters blasting furnace-juice into the ether. 'This machine is broken. No paper.'

I say, 'No paper? Nothing at all? Not even a sheet? We just need a few sheets, and we'll take them upstairs and copy there.'

The woman whose office we've invaded scowls at me. 'Broken!' she says, and the conversation's over.

We follow our friendly lady to another room. And another. She knocks on doors. Noone's there. This is THE court for civil matters in Gauteng, as far as I've been led to believe. And yet nobody appears to be at work. She knocks on another door. And another. Nothing. Finally, a door with someone willing to answer. A woman smoking a cigarette in a no-smoking building. She hands our gal several sheets of overlarge A3 paper, and suggests we cut it down to size to fit in the photocopier. And takes a call. She's the switchboard operator. 'No, I don't have her private cellphone number. We're not allowed to have that.' Pause. 'No, she doesn't have a work cellphone number.' Pause. 'No, I don't work with her. I don't even know who she is. Sorry. Can't help.'

Knock knock. No reply. But the door swings open. We're opposite a room tagged ''Probation Office'. There are 12 chairs, a table, and a microwave oven. On the microwave oven is a booklet: 'Muslim Studies By Mail'. We're looking into the probation office. While our gal sneaks into the empty office. She comes out triumphant, clutching a handful of A4 paper.

We follow her back to the broken photocopier with the heater-huddlers. She doesn't knock this time. Doesn't ask if she can use the photocopier or paper or anything. Instead, she unplugs one of the three heaters, and plugs the copier in. The woman whose office we're invading just glares at her.

The copier warms up. It's a million rand machine. It takes time to warm up. Finally, it kachungs into action, and spews out copies of Jennifer's Protection Order and Summons against the wife-beater. Our gal staples the copies. Thumbs off a small wad of paper that she pilfered from the empty office. Says, 'Replacement paper.' Slams it down on the woman's desk. Strides out.

Jen follows her. I stay behind to see what will happen. The office-icicle slothfully follows the cord of the heater with her hand. Unplugs the live photocopier which instantly dies. Puts her third heater back on.

And Jen and I head out into the wide blue yonder to make sure that order gets served the second time round.

- Camera phone upload powered by ShoZu

Playing with different pens in ArtRage 2.5

2008-07-13T21:33:00.002+02:00

Playing with different pens in ArtRage 2.5, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

Bwooohaaahaaaaa! Just saw a post on the ArtRage forum that prompted me into a quick doodle to check out a particular brush style.

Thanks to Sweedie for his brilliant settings-suggestion: http://www2.ambientdesign.com/forums/.

My doodle was initially just a quick bit of linework to test the Art Pen. It provides a really potent, rich, solid black line. Very evocative and chunky.

Then I started playing with colour. And one thing led to another. And then suddenly I'd shmooshed all the linework out of the thing, and made it a form study.

Yummmmy! I love this program!!!

This painting was doodled on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc usingArtRage 2.5.

2008-07-08 Done!!!

2008-07-08T14:09:00.002+02:00

2008-07-08 Done!!!, originally uploaded by royblumenthal.

A short while back I was working on a piece of scripting, and I was suffering from terminal procrastination. Very much the same as I'm doing now.

I decided at the time to draw myself a motivational picture depicting a reward for finishing the script.

I drew this little caricature of myself in a hammock on a desert island, enjoying the satisfaction of being done with my scripting duties.

Now, while procrastinating on my current script, I figured I'd do a quick colouring job on this pic.

And naturally, the 'quick' job took two hours. They were FUN hours, don't get me wrong. But they weren't SCRIPTING hours.

At least I can claim that this picture is useful as a possible training resource. Kinda along the lines of, 'You've got five minutes to finish your task...' and then popping this on screen when the deadline hits.

But back to reality. Somewhere in the back of my brain, the script is emerging.

Now for a little nap.

This painting started off as an ink sketch in my li'l Moleskine. I scanned it, then messed around with colour in Photoshop CS2. All on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

Classroom Innovations by Roy and Jennifer -- Balloon Tests

2008-06-30T23:52:00.001+02:00

Jennifer is one of those teachers you wish you'd had when you were at primary school.

She has parents fighting with each other and with her headmaster trying to get their kids into her class. And she specialises in teaching right brain-dominant kids how to liberate their creativity and their intellects.

She's never made a kid stand in a dustbin facing the wall, for instance. (Yes... I've BEEN in a dustbin, facing the wall. Thanks to Miss Light, Grade 1, at Colin Mann Primary School in Germiston. Hope you died a miserable death, Miss Light. Or was it Miss Love? Bloody hell. I'm not recalling!)

We've been discussing how to get her knowledge out into the wider world.

That's when a brainwave struck. I love innovating. And illustrating. She loves teaching, and creating beautiful ways of making learning more loving and fun and enjoyable. And her classroom is already a laboratory of innovation. So what we're doing is jotting our ideas down, and we're going to be putting a book together for other teachers to benefit from her experience and wisdom.

This page is a first stab at finding a style for our book. I like the informality of this. But I'd love to hear reader opinions. What do you feel about it? Is it readable? Is it fun? Does it convey the concept fully? What would you want to see changed? Do you have any innovations that you'd like us to consider for the book? Drop me a note in the comments section! Thanks!

Fictionwise online eBook shop -- Re: Response for Support Ticket #63465

2008-06-30T17:01:00.001+02:00

Uh... Lynn...?

If you received this response from a customer support person, would you be happy?

Lynn's response http://fictionwise.com:

We very much appreciate your suggestions for titles. We're working
with publishers now to get as many as possible.

Thanks!

Would you be filled with confidence that the company you're dealing with has your best interests at heart?

I'd like to make a recommendation. Please pretend you didn't just send me your non-answer, and let's try again, okay?

I'm going to write you a possible answer that you're welcome to copy and paste right back to me. I'm also going to do you the service of analyzing WHY my response would be better than yours. And to refresh your memory, I'm going to quote my request to you. Now pretend it's YOU asking Fictionwise for the book below...

Roy's query:

============================================================
This is really just a request. I
would love it if you could sell me
a copy of THE BIG PICTURE by
Dennis Littky. I'd prefer a
MobiPocket copy, cos then I'd be
able to read it on my phone. But I
suspect it's only around in an
Adobe format.

Thanks for running an awesome
book-selling establishment. I'm
really glad I stumbled on you
guys as my introduction to
eBooks.

Blue skies, love, Roy

Roy's suggested rewrite of Lynn's non-response:

Dear Roy

Thank you very much for your request. And thanks also for asking us to sell you this book. That's really kind of you. What's even MORE kind of you is that you've chosen to spend approximately US$150 with us since you joined just a few weeks ago. I hope you're loving the books you've purchased so far!

The book you're asking for -- THE BIG PICTURE by Dennis Littky -- is currently not in our stock-list, as you've already seen.

I made some enquiries, and I've noticed that several other eBook companies sell the electronic version of it. Which means it IS available. I know you're probably itching to purchase the book. I really hope that you'll be able to hold on a little while before making a decision to use one of the other merchants...

If you're willing to wait a week, one of our procurement people will be negotiating with the publisher of the book to place it in your Fictionwise Bookshelf. If we're unable to conclude our negotiation to your satisfaction within this coming week, I'll be giving you a free 100% rebate on the next three books you purchase with us.

In fact, because you've already waited three days for a response to your initial query, we've placed US$5 in your Micropay account. No strings attached.

I understand that you'd like the book in MobiPocket format. However, I'm almost certain that it's only available as a secure Adobe PDF. We WILL look into making a conversion of the book for you. It may very well be out of our hands, as the publisher controls the rights to the format a book is allowed to be released in.

I really hope you'll be happy with the steps we've taken to address your query.

Please feel free to make use of the US$5 deposited in your Micropay account! And we look forward to getting back to you within a week with news about a solution.

Thanks very much for your query.

Yours sincerely,
Lynn
Fictionwise Support Team

Roy's analysis of why his rewrite works better:

It uses the customer's first name, something that the service representative has access to, regardless of whether or not the customer signed off with that name. People are human. We want to be dealt with as people. We're not numbers.
The paragraph detailing how much money this customer has spent in the past serves many purposes. It shows that the customer service person has actually looked into this customer's history. The customer feels acknowledged. It shows that the company actually values his custom. Finally, it's a chatty way of starting a conversation with the customer. It shows that it's one person communicating with another.
This is an acknowledgement of the title that was requested, and it verifies that the company does not have the title in stock. This gives the customer peace-of-mind that he or she didn't just miss the title somehow. This is very much akin to the waiter in a restaurant repeating the order, word-for-word, to ensure that the customer KNOWS that her request was heard.
This paragraph acknowledges that the customer is not an idiot. OF COURSE the customer has searched the web for other stockists of the book. OF COURSE he knows it's available elsewhere. He's CHOSEN to come back to the company he's spent his dollars with. He has his reasons. He WANTS to do business with this company. If you don't acknowledge this, you'll probably lose this customer. This paragraph shows the customer that you understand and recognise his loyalty. And it asks him to be patient.
Here, we go into the 'what's in it for me' portion of the service response. In this case, offering a three-book 100% rebate is a powerful way of encouraging this customer to spend more with the company. It reinforces his buying habits. If he buys three books, and gets his money back on them, he's going to buy another three. That's SIX books that he purchases for the price of a sliver of the markup of three of them. You win. He wins.
The US$5 freebie is not COSTING Fictionwise an actual five dollars. It's costing them ONLY the markup on whatever the customer purchases with that money. Cos it's not REAL money. It's reward money. For the customer, however, it's ACTUAL money that he doesn't have to spend. He glows. Fictionwise glows. Win-win.
The next paragraph addresses a specific query that the customer made... the MobiPocket vs Adobe PDF question. It shows that this eBook seller is aware of the issue, and has investigated it. This client feels delighted that ANY effort has been made to secure the book in the format of his choice. But he's also been very clear in his original query that he's willing to accept it in Adobe format. He explicitly states that he'd PREFER it in MobiPocket format. This means that this part of his query MUST be answered. Silence means you don't know and don't care.
The next line is an invitation to the customer to continue the dialogue. The customer service representative is wrapping up the query, and keeping channels open.
This next line reminds the customer that he has received a five dollar freebie, and reassures him that an answer will be forthcoming within a stated time period. If this is unacceptable to him, he'll simply buy the book elsewhere. But he'll DEFINITELY be coming back to Fictionwise for other purchases. Because they've treated him very well indeed.
The next lines are simply courtesy closes. They serve the purpose of satisfying the ritual end of the conversation.

I don't know about you, but I would be a MUCH happier customer receiving the rewrite than I am right now. Right now, I'm pretty much deciding to cash out my Micropayment account and moving my business elsewhere.

The customer service agent has the power to fix this. And it's NOT about freebies. It's about being heard.

Lynn... your initial answer is a textbook example of what not to say to someone ASKING you to business with your company.

I urge you to consider this letter in a positive light. And I hope you'll treat my request more seriously the second time around. I do in fact NEED that book. I don't merely 'want' it. I REQUIRE it.

Blue skies
love
Roy

--
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ROY BLUMENTHAL
Visual Facilitator, Illustrator, Writer, Director
Contracting to BLUE MOON as a Creative Director & 'Wild Card'

Professional member of the National Speakers Association of Southern Africa: http://snipurl.com/roy--nsasa

Mobile: +27 74 104 6386
Fax: 086 512 2580 (South African calls only)
Email: royblumenthal@gmail.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/royblumenthal
Blog: http://schmucknews.blogspot.com
Visual Facilitation: http://snipurl.com/visualfacilitation
Illustrations: http://snipurl.com/SchmuckGallery
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