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Mounted this to our wall on the morning of 31 December 2009. It's a handmade pentagram using branches from several different plants.
It's designed as part of our set of tools to keep us safe in this new year.
It's filled with white light stretching out to wherever our loved ones are.
Here's wishing you a safe and love-filled 2010.
Liver as a main course. With a whole bunch of stuff to make a collapsed liver even worse. And some stuff to kill a nation.
A fifth of all South Africans have HIV or AIDS right now. And that's just the cases that are known about.
Manto Tshabalala-Msimang and her AIDS denialism are responsible for South Africa having such a big problem.
Now she's dead. Can our country recover?
Made in ArtRage 3 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.
If you'd like to use this pic for any reason whatsoever, go for it. It's released under a Creative Commons 'Attribution, Share-Alike' license.
She's dead and gone now.
Maybe it means South Africa has a chance to recover from the mistakes she made botching our ability to solve the AIDS crisis this country is sinking under.
Verbose? Hey. Not as verbose as Manto. The alcoholic, thieving, incompetent buffoon.
One liver transplant wasn't good enough for her. She had to continue drinking. Just had to do it.
And the first liver transplant was a stolen liver. She jumped the queue.
And the second liver that was scheduled to be given to her? Stolen too. Another jumped queue.
Am I sad that she's gone? Nah.
Am I worried that people will think ill of me for saying bad things about the dead? Nah.
Am I happy that the country might be able to get back on track? I truly don't know. I think there's a lot of evil going on in this place. Our politicians are as corrupt as it's possible to be. I think we're screwed, actually. But hey.
This pic was made in ArtRage 3 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.
If you want to use this pic for any reason whatsoever, please go ahead. It's released under a Creative Commons 'Share-Alike, Attribution' license.
A while back I had a speaking engagement for a bunch of MENSA types.
One of them... John Hofmeyr... called me a week or so after, and asked me if I'd illustrate a poem of his for a charity publication.
I agreed to do that. And this is the resulting image.
If you have a need for a unique Santa pic, please feel free to use it. It's released under a Creative Commons 'Attribution, Share-Alike' license.
I made this pic in ArtRage 2.5 and PhotoShop CS3 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc.
1. Being certain you want one.
2. Choosing the right image.
3. Choosing the right tattoo artist.
Let's start at the beginning.
1. Being certain you want a tattoo
When I was eleven, I got a tattoo. It was appalling. It was a stylised
drawing of a Chinese Fu Manchu sort of dude wearing a hat. Terrible
artwork. And the 16-year-old dude who did the needlework was really
just incompetent.
When I was in Grade 9, I used a scalpel to try and cut the tattoo out.
I hated it so much. When I was in first year varsity, I tried again to
remove it. What was left was an inky stain with scarring that looked
like a mutant birthmark.
So why did I choose to get a PROPER tattoo late in my thirties?
Well... I'm older. More mature. Have a much better artistic sense. And
an appreciation of individuality.
I've yearned over the years to get something to cover up the mutant
both-job. But I've always had the fear that I'd want to scalpel the
thing out again. I wanted to be certain that if I DID cover the old
tatt, it would HAVE TO be something I could live with and be proud of.
I came up with a deeply ironic and hilarious design. It took the form
of a clothes-label badge that said: 'LEFT ARM: Property of Roy
Blumenthal'. (I'm Roy Blumenthal, just so you're clear.)
A company I do freelance work for is filled with dudes who have
tattoos. They're called MISSING LINK. And they make presentations that
aren't boring.
I showed them my design, and they went crazy. One of them said, 'If
you get that tatt, we'll hire you more often!'
I was going to get the tatt anyway. But that pushed me over the edge.
I scouted a few tatt artists. But all of them looked at the scarring
of the old one from my youth and said, 'Nope. The ink won't hold in
that.'
So I redesigned the tatt for my right arm. And went to one of the most
reputable tatt parlours in Joburg: KEVIN'S KUSTOM TATTOOS, and had the
three artists laughing their heads off.
A few years later, the MISSING LINK dudes brought a tatt artist to
Joburg from Cape Town. And I got my second tattoo. It totally covers
my old mutilated scar, and is in the form of a phoenix rising from the
flames. (The image is a double-image: in the negative space you can
see a bold question mark.)
Do you really want a tattoo? Really realllllly? Sure it's not just
about some perceived 'cool'? Are you willing to live with a permanent
addition to your body? Are you willing to accept that your body image
WILL change one way or another?
2. Choosing the right image.
Once you KNOW a tattoo is right for you, you need to find the right
image. Something you won't get tired of. Something that is you now,
and years and years and years from now.
Dig deep into your essence to find out what your anchor is in the world.
Be sure that you're looking INTERNALLY, not externally. You might
THINK that Jesus or Black Sabbath or The Jonas Brothers DEFINE you
now. But that's deeeeeeply unlikely to pervade after three decades.
Simply put... Our beliefs change. No matter how we cling to them NOW.
In my case, my two tatts represent aspects of my true self. I'm
someone who delights in the ambiguity that irony creates. So my 'Right
Arm' tatt will always be funny. Even if one day it has to be
amputated. Cos the doctors will get a laugh.
The phoenix/question mark tatt represents two major aspects of my
being. I question everything. I'm a life-long learner. The fact that
the question mark is hidden at first in the image shows the value of
probing. I am also a perpetual reinventor of myself. The phoenix is a
bird that transforms when needed. It overcomes hardship. It revels in
the flames.
What defines you? Internally? What are your most solid values? These
are the things I suggest you look to when choosing an image.
Where to find a pic? Well... The internet is the best starting point.
Start collecting pics that resonate with you in a folder somewhere. A
great starting point is Flickr. Or Google Images. Also, go to tattoo
shops. Look at the flash on their walls. But remember that flash is
NOT unique to you.
Print all of your reference pics to take with you in your search.
Something will emerge.
3. Choosing the right tattoo artist.
In my case, I've had three tattoo artists working on my skin.
The first was not an artist. He was a juvenile delinquent. And I
almost became a juvenile delinquent cos of his work on my arm. I was
deeply ashamed of the mark, and never wore short sleeves until I'd
hacked the ink out with a knife.
The second was a competent inker. But she wasn't an artist. My 'Right
Arm' tatt is okay. But nothing glorious.
The third artist is the one I'll go back to for my next tatt. He's an
actual artist. And he helped interpret my finished artwork into a
mighty tatt.
His name is Marcus van der Tuin from Metal Machine in Cape Town.
My advice to you? Find a tatt artist who is passionate about tattoos
and art. Ask to see tatts he or she has done. Ask to see the original
artworks they used as reference. All of the good tatt artists are
proud of what they do. They take photos. They care. And they're not
offended by people asking questions.
This ink will be on and in your body for the rest of your life. EVEN
OF YOU LASER IT OUT. Choose wisely.
I hope this helps you.
Enjoy your journey. Don't rush. And be certain.
Roy,
You have send Pieter a twitter about your 3G problem. Can you please give me more info i.e. what the problem is, where do you experience this problem, contact detail that I can give the technicians to make an appointment to come and see you.
I have also left you a voice message, you are welcome to call me at your convenience.
Regards
Louisa van Beek
CEO's Office
Vodacom Group Limited
082 Vodacom Bouldevard, Vodavalley, Midrand, 1685
Private Bag x9904, Sandton, 2146
<em>My Extremely Truncated Complaint Against Vodacom</em>
1. My 3G card was locked on Friday 20 Nov without my being informed.
2. When I spoke to a consultant on Friday evening, he told me that my
bill had spiked to just under R4k, and that accounts had frozen it.
3. Approx two years ago, I had Vodacom put a voluntary limit on my
acc, so that it could not spike by more than R500.
4. Consultant informed me that no such limit was in place. He
speculated that an error may have occurred when I upgraded from the
1gig bundle to the 2gig bundle.
5. I've since spoken to, and screamed and shouted at, approx 14
staffers, who refuse to escalate this to decision-making level.
6. My 3G remains blocked. And I refuse to pay for Vodacom's error.
<em>My Proposed Solution</em>
1. I want my 3G card immediately unlocked and operational.
2. I will happily pay my bill up to my R500 limit.
3. I will happily purchase a top-up bundle to see me through this month.
4. Vodacom must absorb the balance of the cost of the spike, and fix
their internal systems to prevent this from happening.
5. I want an apology from the person who cut my account off without
notifying me.
6. I want a written apology from Pieter Uys, Vodacom CEO, explaining
why his staff refuse to escalate issues, and what he will be
instituting to make complaints easier to escalate.
7. I will most likely terminate all dealings with Vodacom as a result
of this debacle.
Guto Bussab directed this film, opting to shoot on real 16mm film. I co-produced with him and Rudi Pieterse. And I wrote the script.
We shot the film over two-and-a-half days, using three locations in Joburg. Norman Coombes was an absolute trooper. At this point in his life, he had almost no sight left. He was as good as blind. And he was old. One of the shoot days had us doing an intense and late afternoon/night shoot in an antique shop. At the end of the shoot, Stafford, our Director of Photography, called, 'Check the gate.' This is a ritual in film. The gate is the bit in front of the lens where the film rushes through. If it's clear, it means all's well. If there's a little piece of film stuck in it, it means trouble.
As it happened, the gate wasn't clear. We had filmed for an entire 6-hour period, with NO film rushing past the lens. We had to reshoot the scene in ten minutes, after calling Norman and Frantz back from their car.
This film was the last one Norman Coombes made before he died. He was into his late 80s when we shot it, and he was long dead by the time our unbearably complex edit was over.
This film was a lesson in 'What CAN go wrong WILL'.
The chief catastrophe, from which we almost couldn't recover, was that a good third of our shot footage was processed by the film lab at the wrong ASA rating. And so it ended up not just vaguely unusable but completely unusable. Viewing rushes is a dangerous and scary thing. When you view the rushes and you cannot see anything but darkness and golf-ball-sized clods of misshapen light, that fear becomes bile-like.
Which meant that the film had to be pieced together by Damon Berry and Digby Young. They literally took my script, worked out what we intended with the movie, and then created an entirely new story out of the footage available to them.
They fought another monumental battle in that long edit. As it happens, Guto's 16mm camera had a problem that nobody knew about. The crystal in the camera which keeps audio and picture synchronised was broken. So the film wandered between 23 and 26 frames per second. Which meant that there was NO lip synch. None whatsoever.
So when Digby and Damon delivered us a film, it took me and Philip Haupt about a week in the audio studio getting a salvageable lip synch out of the cut.
Only two things went really well. One was the music by Dan Selsick. He composed the aria specifically for the film. And the other was the post-production funding I secured from the NFVF, South Africa's National Film and Video Foundation.
@Scottstead, a Twitter buddy of mine, and fellow visual thinker, alerted me to an interesting challenge...
@DocPop threw the gauntlet down, asking artists, illustrators, cartoonists, humans, to create a 4 to 40 panel comic strip with NO PICTURES.
Of course, the only medium in which this can be successfully carried out would be radio. Cos all other media use visuals. And visuals are pictures. Even a written or typed word is a picture.
But what the heck? Maybe he just meant, 'Traditional pictures'?
My answer to the challenge deals with the scandalous numbskullery of an ex-Springbok Rugby Playing Hero, Joost vd Westhuizen.
Some time ago, the tabloids broke a story in which Joost was seen in a home video snorting cocaine off an extra-marital ladyfriend's stomach. He was also giving her some of his special Springbok Rugby Love. (You know the type I mean... tonsil massage in the locker room.) All while wearing underpants riddled with holes.
He denied that it was him in the tape. His spiritual leader, Pastor Ray McCauley, of the money-making Rhema Church, apparently denied it was Joost. (I've just searched the web for the articles I recall coming out at the time, and I'm struggling to find anything about McCauley's role that isn't hearsay.)
Nevertheless... Everybody denied it was Joost.
And his wife Amor stood by his side.
But now he's gone and let the cat out of the bag. It WAS him. He admits it in his new book. And at the same time, he trash-talks Amor in the most ungentlemanly ways possible. (In fact, I hope his Springbok Rugby Pals round on him in a dark alley and give him some scrummaging lessons as payment for the ugly stuff he's revealed about his former love.)
The hidden layers in this cartoon make it a bit convoluted for anyone who isn't fully up to speed with the twists and turns of the saga. But it's clear enough what's happening in the surface story regardless.
I thought a bit of history would be in order.
I made this pic in ArtRage 2.5 on my Rectron-sponsored Asus R1E tablet pc. I wore a pair of my own hole-ridden underpants on my head for inspiration.
This pic is released under a Creative Commons 'Attribution, Share-Alike' license. This means you are free to use it as you see fit, without asking for my permission. AS LONG AS... you attribute it to me, and you release it under a similar license. I would also appreciate a note letting me know you're using it. My email address is roy@royblumenthal.com.
