Apricot Hill Farm, Honingklip

Thursday, April 7, to Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Service: * * * * *
Food: * * * * *
Ambience: * * * * *
Babe Count: * * * * *

Thanks to the gorgeous and gifted Anthea Hardwick, I am now a level 2 Hawaiian ka huna masseur. These past six days have been an absolutely intense and wonderful set of days. Hardcore physical work, but even more work in the emotional realm.

Just so you know, I'm now as highly qualified in the art of ka huna massage as most masseurs working in salons around the country. As soon as I get a massage table, I'll be offering my services professionally. At first, I'll be scheduling two or three massages a week. Each session is an hour and a half. And in my experience, once you've had a ka huna massage, you won't want any other kind of massage. That's what happened to me.

About five years ago, I visited the Festival of Out of Mind, Body and Soul (okay... private joke... it's actually called the Festival of Body, Mind and Spirit), and Anthea had a stall set up there, with massage beds. And she was offering free sample massages. So I took the bait, got a sarong on, stripped down to nothing BUT the sarong in the middle of this festival, got on the bed, and Kearn Bamber gave me fifteen minutes of the best massage I'd experienced until then. Wow!

But it's more than that. Since I was around 11 years old, I've been mystically inclined, and somewhat psychic. But I'm also a major skeptic. So I tend to buck against New Age stuff. Most practitioners of new age mumbo jumbo realllllly piss me off. Many are well-meaning, and really do have some gifts. But a lot are plain ole charlatans out for a buck.

So I've really spent much of my life resisting being a shaman. I've read tarot since I was a kid. I've channeled my healing abilities by volunteering and training as a crisis counsellor. People tend to come up to me and tell me things they tell noone else.

And then, several years ago, I came across Serge Kahili King's book, URBAN SHAMAN. And when I read it, it was like some sort of homecoming. I identified with all of the mystical practices he talks about. The vision questing. The way he harnesses energy. And I kinda knew that sooner or later I'd have to follow this path.

So here I am, a ka huna masseur, following my mystical path.

The training itself. Wow. Level 1, we worked on the back of the body. A very fiery space to work in. Fast music. Long, hard movements. Really working with energy and verve. That was the first three days. And I've sweated a lot. And I've been massaged right into the leather of the massage table. I am one with the massage table, I tell you! And I've done my fair share of massaging too. Sheesh. And it's VERY high energy work.

Level 2, the next three days, we worked on the front of the body. Much more intuitive, slower, more careful. It's the vulnerable part of the body. And when women are being worked on by men, it can be quite scary for them. So it's very delicate, and totally non-sexual.

So that's me. Much mellower than when I went in. Much more in touch with my shamanic calling. And ready to do swap massages with other ka huna masseurs so I can get some practice in both giving and receiving.

If you know of anyone with a massage table they don't want anymore, please let me know. I need one.

(Oh... the place was self-catering. Which meant that Eduardo, here from Mexico, Anthea's partner, made most of the food. Man, that bloke can cook! Delicious vegetarian stuff. And tons of fruit. And most of the women on the training... total babes. Total.)

(Oh... and why am I not producing a travel dvd right now? Wellllll... the company I was working for kinda didn't really have its act together, and it turned out not to have a business plan, nor startup funding, and was hoping that somehow, sales would materialise out of nowhere and pay salaries at the end of the first month. Which it couldn't do. Since there were no sales. So I'm now prowling for other production work.)