Roy Blumenthal is 'The Coffee-Shop Schmuck'

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Service: * * * 1/2
Food: * * *
Ambience: * * *
Babe Count: * * 1/2

"Ian tells me it's going well between you and Karen, hmmm?" says Damon.

He's briefly back from Richards Bay, where he's on the cast of a British mini series. It's set on a ship.

I saw Ian yesterday. He was briefly back in Joburg, and now he's in Cape Town. Moving down there in a month, permanently. He's addicted to kite surfing.

"Yeah," I say to Damon. "A bit TOO well. You know I spoke to you about pushing this non-monogamy button in me?"

He nods.

"Well," I say, "it seems to be going exceptionally well with Karen. And I'm falling back into monogamy. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN SHAGGED ONE OTHER WOMAN!!!!"

"Roy, you've got to follow your heart, man. What does your heart say?"

"Well, I think I'm actually a monogamist at heart," I say. "It doesn't really feel right to be exploring a relationship with someone and still shag other women. But I really don't KNOW this for sure. I've never BEEN non-monogamous. It's not something I know. And while I'm in the middle of this paradigm shift, I want to make full use of the psychological changes I'm going through."

I've had this same chat with My Mate M, otherwise known on this site as MMM, the author of the guide to BDSM sex that appears on the Sunday 18 July, Doppio Zero, write-up here. His take on it is interesting. MMM reckons that sane women into bondage are very rare, and that for every sane one, there are literally dozens of insane ones. So, he feels that if Karen is sane, and I'm comfortable with her, and I like her, and I get on with her, and she likes me, what's the problem? Stay with her. Forget about the artificial playing at non-monogamy.

"So," says Damon, "shag other women."

"But I don't think I want to," I say.

"So don't," he says. "Now, details about the bondage please."

So I mention a few of the naughty things Karen and I got up to when we went to see Harry Sideropoulos's BIG BAND BLAST. I'm a buddy of Harry's, so he organised me some VIP tickets. Brilliant show. HARRY! YOU ROCK, CHINA!!!!

"Jeepers, Roy," says Damon once I've been a little specific with him. He doesn't blush easily, but he's blushing now.