Wiesenhof, Killarney

Monday, July 26, 2004

Service: * * * 1/2
Food: * * 1/2
Ambience: * *
Babe Count: * * * *

As usual, Danny's a joy of a waiter. Very pleasant, paying attention to details like ensuring that I have no mushrooms anywhere near anything I eat.

"What's that?" he says, pointing to the huge, obscene trophy sitting beside my backgammon board. I'm playing Ana tonight, my second game of the new cycle. She's top of the B-division, and I'm second.

"This," I say, stroking the trophy suggestively, "is the Phoenix Cup. It's awarded to the most-improved player in the club over a one-year period. And the winner is... tadadadada... me!" I kiss the trophy, and give the handle a gentle lick.

I'm currently beating Ana 14--0. And I'm thinking about how she'd look tied to the railing naked. (Which is kinda how I'm seeing ALL women in this current mind-expanded view I have of the world.)

Ana makes her eyes all big and round and wet, and says to me, "Please stop using this nasty, horrible cube now. Please?" Danny looks at me as if I've slapped Ana a few times. I resolve to NOT stop using the cube. It's one of the most lethal weapons known to a backgammon player, and I'm using it to make Ana beg for mercy.

But heck. Those doleful eyes. Those perky breasts. Some little piece of vicious domineer in me shuts down. Not consciously, of course. I start playing more conservatively, and I start offering the cube less. And I start taking it when Ana offers it. And I start losing, bit by bit.

But I think it's only fair to blame the Wiesenhof cheeseburger I've ordered. True, there are no mushrooms on it. But it's just a vast lump of very finely ground patty. Quite spongy to chew on. Ugh. My least favourite type of burger.

Suddenly, Ana's within spitting distance of overtaking me on the score front.

"Okay," she says. "I've held on for this long. I've GOT to have a cigarette! Will you excuse me?"

Absolutely. I use the five minutes to regroup. I meditate. I locate my inner mastery. I give myself a slight chubby thinking about how much Liz likes me exercising my inner mastery. And when Ana comes back from the smoking room, I'm ready for her. I'm ready to play a steady, hard, wearing game of backgammon, with audacious moves, and serious concentration. I don't WANT her to beg me for mercy. Cos that'd give her too much pleasure.

Thwack thwack thwack thwack thwack. Dice get flung. Power surges out of my wrist. And yeah. I dominate the board. Whack whack whack! And I beat her 21--17. A pretty close match, actually. Much closer than I would have dreamed. But I'm a winner. And the Phoenix Cup loves me and believes in me.

And besides, I beat Sophia last week. Which means I've beaten the two strongest contenders for the money in the B-division. So I'm in with a good chance at being top of the league. Let's just keep the inner resources flowing.